I HATE technology. I have the most basic phone that I can own, I text like a grandma with severe arthritis, but I kick serious booty on my snake game. Branden's laptop is a Mac and I don't mind it for the most part, it's gotten me by in the days before I was blessed with my laptop. (Joshua rocks!) The newest upgraded system for Mac is coming out and there is something about it that irritates me to no end: it's called "Mountain Lion"! The current system is called "Snow Leopard" which I think is just some desperate ploy to get nerds sounding "cool" by talking about the vicious big cats that they own....it's not working fyi.
Branden is all excited that Mountain Lion is coming out because it will have so many new 'cool' features. I told him that if we are buying anything called "Mountain Lion" then I expect his face to be fully mauled by the time it's completely downloaded. We even had a discussion last night about him not referring to our computer stuff in giant feline terms, but I think he just loves seeing my hackles go up whenever he mentions it.
This morning, I turned on my wonderful laptop and got started on a Word document. I love Word, I know Word, it's nothing like Mac's Pages, and I like how I can find everything I need easily...until today. Now go back and throw in "used to" in all of those statements! Despite it being Word 2007, I have apparently been out of the loop for a lot longer than I first thought. All I needed to do was insert a simple calendar, *5 mins to find it* make it for the month I needed it for, *5 mins to change manually and 7 mins for Branden to insist there is a format for that in the program and go searching for it* add in a few names, *easy 1 min* and then make another calendar for the next month with the same type of stuff on it *15 mins pulling my hair out trying to figure out why it wouldn't copy and paste fully, why it wouldn't fit the names the same way, and Branden still insisting there is a format*.
I hadn't had my coffee yet so it was not my best moment when I blamed Branden completely because, "You are a nerd and you like this technology crap so it's your fault I have to spend all this time when I could have been done in 5 mins if I had printed out a blank calendar and written in the names!" and, "You have nerd connections, so can't you get someone to yell at Bill Gates for having a stupid, confusing program!". Thankfully, Branden finds this all rather humorous and he even decided it would be a good time to mention how good "Mountain Lion" will be...*face mauling 45% complete...
Friday, July 13, 2012
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Foot-in-Mouth Disease
I want to bring to light a horrible condition that affects everyone in their lifetime (except maybe mute people): Foot-in-Mouth Disease. This crippling condition can leave you trying to hide behind your own mug, slinking to the floor and attempting to melt away, and/or giggling nervously, which actually just makes you sound like a creeper. With such a widespread disease, it's a wonder that there aren't any charities set up for it or at least informational television programs that can teach us how to prevent, treat, and blend into curtains at any given point.
I know that I have suffered from Foot-in-Mouth greatly but as it is still before 11am, my memory isn't very good...except for remembering things about my husband. Just the other night, Branden came down with an unexpected case of Foot-in-Mouth, resulting in eyebrow raising, severe side poking, and a secondary outbreak. Here's the case study:
A lovely couple prepare to go to sleep. The husband preps his pillows and chooses the one he wants to place on the side of the bed facing the wall so he can cuddle it in the night when he's not facing the other way and cuddling his wonderful, perfect, incredible wife. *note: This is a case study so the opinion of the writer is unbiased
Husband: "This one is better because it's lumpy."
Wife: eyebrows raised "What?! This is what you use to mimic me and you choose the lumpy one as the most realistic??"
*first outbreak of Foot-in-Mouth
Husband: awkwardly giggling like a creeper "No, no, no! It's not that you are lumpy. It's just not as nice as a head pillow because it's lumpy."
Wife now begins severe side poking
Husband: "You are not lumpy! I use the other one too; it's fluffy."
*second outbreak of Foot-in-Mouth
Wife: eyebrows raised so high, they are practically in the back of her head "FLUFFY!! So I'm lumpy and fluffy!?!" more severe side poking
Husband: awkwardly giggling even more like a creeper and hesitant to speak again in case the disease takes an even stronger hold
Has this ever happened to you? With all the advancements in health and science, why isn't enough being done to protect the innocent victims, like the lovely wife, from encountering diseased Foot-in-Mouth sufferers? And most importantly, is it justified to just shoot those diseased???
What are your thoughts?
I know that I have suffered from Foot-in-Mouth greatly but as it is still before 11am, my memory isn't very good...except for remembering things about my husband. Just the other night, Branden came down with an unexpected case of Foot-in-Mouth, resulting in eyebrow raising, severe side poking, and a secondary outbreak. Here's the case study:
A lovely couple prepare to go to sleep. The husband preps his pillows and chooses the one he wants to place on the side of the bed facing the wall so he can cuddle it in the night when he's not facing the other way and cuddling his wonderful, perfect, incredible wife. *note: This is a case study so the opinion of the writer is unbiased
Husband: "This one is better because it's lumpy."
Wife: eyebrows raised "What?! This is what you use to mimic me and you choose the lumpy one as the most realistic??"
*first outbreak of Foot-in-Mouth
Husband: awkwardly giggling like a creeper "No, no, no! It's not that you are lumpy. It's just not as nice as a head pillow because it's lumpy."
Wife now begins severe side poking
Husband: "You are not lumpy! I use the other one too; it's fluffy."
*second outbreak of Foot-in-Mouth
Wife: eyebrows raised so high, they are practically in the back of her head "FLUFFY!! So I'm lumpy and fluffy!?!" more severe side poking
Husband: awkwardly giggling even more like a creeper and hesitant to speak again in case the disease takes an even stronger hold
Has this ever happened to you? With all the advancements in health and science, why isn't enough being done to protect the innocent victims, like the lovely wife, from encountering diseased Foot-in-Mouth sufferers? And most importantly, is it justified to just shoot those diseased???
What are your thoughts?
Friday, July 6, 2012
Reason #537 why we won't be moving back to America
Tip of the Day: When moving permanently away from your home country*, be sure to look up videos of your country's "village idiots" to help combat homesickness.
*if your home country happens to be America then this will be easier than exciting a labrador.
Bonus Tip: Miley Cyrus will repel anything!
*if your home country happens to be America then this will be easier than exciting a labrador.
Bonus Tip: Miley Cyrus will repel anything!
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Finally, someone takes me seriously!
It's a good thing we went on our anniversary trip when we did as things are going a mile a minute here. When I managed to get to my email yesterday, I noticed an odd email that I almost marked as junk right off. Something made me read it though (probably because it was short!) and I busted up laughing and read it off to Branden. I have taken out their name, website, and link and replaced it with my interpretation which you will see in "quotes" and underlined.
Hi,
We at "thinkyouarecrazy".net came across your blog and thought we’d direct your attention to something you might enjoy. Our article, “8 Exercises to Improve Your Mental Health”, was recently published, and we think it’s something you and your community would enjoy reading or sharing. Here’s the link: (www."wethinkyourreadersarenutsaswell".com.org.uk.ie).
Let me know if there’s anything we can do for you. Meanwhile, keep up the great work!
Sincerely,
"Lady who has never actually read your blog"
As soon as I read this to Branden, I stated, "They think that I am like an actual crazy person blogging from a padded cell, and they think my readers are crazy too!"
So this is what I would write back to them:
Hello,
I can see that your understanding of sarcasm is nil, so I apologize now for the fact that you won't understand this reply at all. I have happily been blogging from my padded cell for over a year now and I am afraid that your 8 exercises would jeopardize my content greatly. If I achieve good mental health, then how do you expect me to continue my life in my cell and my ability to relate with my readers? I discussed your email over with my singing frog Gary in our fort yesterday and he also brought up the fact that you probably would want me to give up my love of licking park benches and my collection of decapitated lawn gnomes. Gary hasn't led me wrong since the time he told me to have my birthday party in a graveyard back in '99, so I am going to trust his judgement and pass on your article.
Congratulations on getting published though; it's quite an achievement. I am technically published too, although it's mostly my doctor's research on my brain surges at the mention of the word "kitty". I'd send you a link but my institution doesn't allow me that type of access on my computer. Oh and please don't bug my readers with this stuff either. If you helped them all, then it would just be me and Gary, and our dear friend the Dustbunny, and that would sadden us all. Thank you though for seeing and appreciating my special needs and reaching out to try and help...although Nurse Susan lost a finger that way last time...Gary's a bit of a biter.
Sarcastically,
Maggie, Queen of the Cell
P.S. For the future, don't judge a blog by it's title! ...or author for that matter!
Hi,
We at "thinkyouarecrazy".net came across your blog and thought we’d direct your attention to something you might enjoy. Our article, “8 Exercises to Improve Your Mental Health”, was recently published, and we think it’s something you and your community would enjoy reading or sharing. Here’s the link: (www."wethinkyourreadersarenutsaswell".com.org.uk.ie).
Let me know if there’s anything we can do for you. Meanwhile, keep up the great work!
Sincerely,
"Lady who has never actually read your blog"
As soon as I read this to Branden, I stated, "They think that I am like an actual crazy person blogging from a padded cell, and they think my readers are crazy too!"
So this is what I would write back to them:
Hello,
I can see that your understanding of sarcasm is nil, so I apologize now for the fact that you won't understand this reply at all. I have happily been blogging from my padded cell for over a year now and I am afraid that your 8 exercises would jeopardize my content greatly. If I achieve good mental health, then how do you expect me to continue my life in my cell and my ability to relate with my readers? I discussed your email over with my singing frog Gary in our fort yesterday and he also brought up the fact that you probably would want me to give up my love of licking park benches and my collection of decapitated lawn gnomes. Gary hasn't led me wrong since the time he told me to have my birthday party in a graveyard back in '99, so I am going to trust his judgement and pass on your article.
Congratulations on getting published though; it's quite an achievement. I am technically published too, although it's mostly my doctor's research on my brain surges at the mention of the word "kitty". I'd send you a link but my institution doesn't allow me that type of access on my computer. Oh and please don't bug my readers with this stuff either. If you helped them all, then it would just be me and Gary, and our dear friend the Dustbunny, and that would sadden us all. Thank you though for seeing and appreciating my special needs and reaching out to try and help...although Nurse Susan lost a finger that way last time...Gary's a bit of a biter.
Sarcastically,
Maggie, Queen of the Cell
P.S. For the future, don't judge a blog by it's title! ...or author for that matter!
Monday, July 2, 2012
Anniversary Trip to Galway!
I do have to say, before sharing our fun anniversary trip to Galway, in continuing with my wedding horror story, my honeymoon wasn't much better. We spent the two days after our wedding in a beautiful and fun little town only 45 minutes away from home before flying to Kauai for a week. Kauai is where it got worse. To make a long story short, I ended up with 3 infections and within a week of my wedding, had been prescribed 5 different medications, most of them saying to not drink alcohol or be in the sun. One of the infections was a sinus infection which made it impossible for me to be in air conditioning or else I would cough until I threw up, which wasn't pleasant for Kauai in July. With me being so sick, we didn't really get to go out much but luckily both of us had been before so I guess that helped. We also got our days messed up so we missed our flight thinking that we weren't flying out until the day after. This did end up costing us a bunch more with the airline company but the lady who owned the cottage we were staying in, was nice enough (and felt so bad for us) that she gave us the extra night free. That 'extra' day ended up being the best day of our trip since it was the first day I really felt better, so we drove around everywhere and made the most of it.
Now, onto Galway! We had a great time exploring this city and the weather was actually decent, although it was super humid the first 2 days and we hardly were able to sleep because it was so miserably muggy at night. You know it's bad when at 10pm, people from Arizona were fanning themselves with their beer coasters and complaining about how hot it was (and it was only in the low 70's, high 60's).
Our first day, we did some exploring, pub hopping, and ate some amazing seafood, delicious gelato, and then a late night plate of yummy nachos as we listened to a band in a pub. Here are a few pictures from our first day.
Our second day was our actual anniversary and as soon as the alarm went off Branden suddenly said, "I can't wait anymore! I got something for you!". I was quite shocked since we haven't bought gifts for each other for anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas, etc. since our marriage but we do something fun to create a memory instead. Branden broke the rules and bought me the most beautiful pair of pearl stud earrings! It's my favorite color in pearls and they actually match my eyes!
We took our time getting ready that morning as we prepared to do the 2.5 mile walk to Salthill to go 'kick the wall'. I don't know why you go kick the wall but at the end of the walk, there is a wall and you are supposed to kick it. Along the way there were a couple of beaches and the day cleared up and became nice and sunny! We had dinner reservations and it was the most amazingly delicious food! We ordered a bottle of Prosecco along with our meal and it was perfect! Champagne isn't my favorite and makes me sick to my stomach, so I was glad to discover that Prosecco suits me much better! Here's some photos from our anniversary day.
Our last day, we spent our time exploring the city more. Since it is a University town, we went to have a peek at the campus. It was a great little campus and reminded us a bit of a smaller version of the campus here in Cork. We visited the Cathedral but couldn't really get any photos inside since they were having Mass at the time. There are lots of waterways through town so we walked along many of them, popping into cute shops along the way. Galway was a fantastic town, we absolutely loved it, and who knows, Branden might be able to get a job there when he's done with his PhD! I wouldn't mind living and raising kids there at all!
We had a great time and really enjoyed having a bit of a holiday together! I'm just so happy that I get to do all of this with my best friend and love of my life!
Now, onto Galway! We had a great time exploring this city and the weather was actually decent, although it was super humid the first 2 days and we hardly were able to sleep because it was so miserably muggy at night. You know it's bad when at 10pm, people from Arizona were fanning themselves with their beer coasters and complaining about how hot it was (and it was only in the low 70's, high 60's).
Our first day, we did some exploring, pub hopping, and ate some amazing seafood, delicious gelato, and then a late night plate of yummy nachos as we listened to a band in a pub. Here are a few pictures from our first day.
Our second day was our actual anniversary and as soon as the alarm went off Branden suddenly said, "I can't wait anymore! I got something for you!". I was quite shocked since we haven't bought gifts for each other for anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas, etc. since our marriage but we do something fun to create a memory instead. Branden broke the rules and bought me the most beautiful pair of pearl stud earrings! It's my favorite color in pearls and they actually match my eyes!
We took our time getting ready that morning as we prepared to do the 2.5 mile walk to Salthill to go 'kick the wall'. I don't know why you go kick the wall but at the end of the walk, there is a wall and you are supposed to kick it. Along the way there were a couple of beaches and the day cleared up and became nice and sunny! We had dinner reservations and it was the most amazingly delicious food! We ordered a bottle of Prosecco along with our meal and it was perfect! Champagne isn't my favorite and makes me sick to my stomach, so I was glad to discover that Prosecco suits me much better! Here's some photos from our anniversary day.
Our last day, we spent our time exploring the city more. Since it is a University town, we went to have a peek at the campus. It was a great little campus and reminded us a bit of a smaller version of the campus here in Cork. We visited the Cathedral but couldn't really get any photos inside since they were having Mass at the time. There are lots of waterways through town so we walked along many of them, popping into cute shops along the way. Galway was a fantastic town, we absolutely loved it, and who knows, Branden might be able to get a job there when he's done with his PhD! I wouldn't mind living and raising kids there at all!
We had a great time and really enjoyed having a bit of a holiday together! I'm just so happy that I get to do all of this with my best friend and love of my life!
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