Wow, I'm Speechless! (despite the following long post)

Two awards in a week!?! It's not often you find me speechless, but I couldn't believe my eyes as I read yesterday that I have been granted another award by the hysterical Paige Kellerman! This was particularly touching since I had only found Paige's fabulous blog just last week and as I read her uniquely hilarious comedic writing style, I had the though of, "Holy killer writing skills Batman, this girl could type circles around me!" If you haven't read her blog yet, then you must head over NOW and laugh till you pee your cave panties! Thank you very much Paige for the award and I look forward to insecurely crying laughing over all of your great posts!

This now means that I have been blessed with 2 awards from 2 great blogs and now I get to spread the love. You can see both of the awards posted on the right and if you click on them, they will take you to the fabulous bloggers from which they came from.

With the award from Stephanie, it looks as though I am supposed to write 3 random facts about myself in order to fully accept the award and then pass it on. So with no further ado, my acceptance facts:

1. I comb my eyelashes. Applying mascara has been dubbed by my family as 'my ritual' and I spend about 15 mins in this daily sacred art of mine. I was blessed with nice long lashes from my dad (as well as my light blue eyes) so I feel the need to make sure they look perfect and well displayed! It doesn't matter if a mascara advertises to be 'clump free', long lashes tangle in the goop of anything (and I have tried almost all of them!). Refusing to have spider eyes, I invested the best $5 of my life at Sephora and bought what's probably supposed to be an eyebrow comb, but I use it for my lashes. Your eyelash comb must be metal (the plastic ones break) and no matter how clumpy your mascara may make you, it's no match for your blessed comb. So far I haven't met another self created eyelash comber but I have inspired a few. Once you start, you will never be able to stop! (except you guys...although a bit of dark eye make up can be hot sometimes!).

2. I have been in a pageant. It was NOT a beauty pageant. In my senior year of high school, I went through the full blown process to become festival royalty for my small town's Irrigation Festival (don't knock it, it's the longest running festival in the state of Washington!). After months of dance practice, etiquette tips, speech practice, a judges tea, and a pageant later, I was dubbed Princess Maggie for the Irrigation Festival's 107th year. It was a fun process, I did a speech on geoduck 'hunting' and reigned under our Queen Jennifer and alongside Princess Cortney and Princess Jennifer. We put in over 400hours of community service over the next 12 months, which included riding on our fabulous float in 17 parades, selling festival merchandise, visiting nursing homes and participating in a Cancer walk. This is where I got my scholarship that I ended up never using but I gained 3 royal sisters and lots of new friends. I also ended up being part 'royalty mom' to 2 royal courts a few years ago and had a blast with those girls!

3. I have a rubber band around my eyeball. You would think that I would be able to remember how old I was when I had my first and only surgery experience but this is me we are talking about, so I'll wing it...I think I was about 22. I noticed my sight had been blurry but I chalked it up to my contacts being weird and made a mental note to compare it when I put my glasses on to make sure it was not my actual eyesight....first mistake! Mental notes for me are about as useful as using a fish for deodorant. About a week later, I FINALLY remembered and mentioned it to my locksmith boss at the time. He told me to call my optometrist that moment and get it checked since he had a friend that had retina problems and lost his eyesight in one of his eyes because of it. I am pretty blind already. I have had glasses since the 2nd grade and my eyes get so progressively bad every year that when the next year's new prescriptions came along I would always be amazed at the ability to see individual leaves on trees again! Anyhoo, I called my optometrist, he had me come in ASAP and lo and behold, my retina was detaching and had torn in 2 places. (At this point most people say, "Owwie! That must have hurt!" but no, I couldn't feel a thing) I was sent for emergency surgery because my optometrist told me that if my retina did detach then it would be very difficult to restore it and most likely I would be blind in that eye. So this all leads to my 'rubber band', which is actually called a scleral buckle, but it's basically a rubber band around my eye that elongates my eye, pinning my retina back in place. Elongating my eye basically took my already bad prescription in that eye and multiplied it by 2 so my eyes are extremely different in terms of sight which doesn't matter much since I can't see clearly a few inches from my face.

Ok, enough about me! I am going to split these awards up and grant them to some wonderful bloggers that I have come to know and love. I would have normally granted these awards to the wonderful women who gave them to me, but since they already got them, I'll pass them on to others who from my knowledge haven't received these awards yet.

First the winners of the:

1. Bodacious Boomer: She paints dog's faces, posts the most disturbingly funny news stories and photos, and calls me Kiddo (which I love!). She is also a great responder to your comments which causes even more laughs!

2. The Crazy Life of a Writing Mom: Elisa is not your typical mom blog which is why I adore her and get so excited every time I see she has a new post! Her kids are the most creative and imaginative kids I have ever read about and I hope my kids are like them! I would have given her the Liebster award but since Paige already did, I thought I'd give her this one!

3. Vive le Nerd: Joshua has a nice biting sarcasm which is great in his writing but also fabulous when tweeting. He also has written some short stories and poetry which are incredible! Reading his blog is my version of not being able to look away from a car accident...I know I shouldn't understand his nerdy world but sadly, I DO! (although I blame it all on Branden!).

4. A Few French Fries Short of a Happy Meal: Miss Sassy Pants is spew your tequila on the computer screen funny! She's from my home State and I love reading about her crazy family (owning chickens in Seattle), her recent ride alongs with the cops in her University town, and the hysterical things she does while under the influence of...'college tap water".

5. Good Times With Rebecca and Barkley: Peanut is 7 and I think she is the cutest little blogger on the planet! She is Stephanie's daughter and I'm so glad Stephanie let her have this little online outlet because she is creative and funny! Her Wonderful World of Cats is a favorite in my house, as Branden and I have watched it at least half a dozen times!

6. Tony Van Helsing's Mystery Theatre: Tony only posts about once a week but it's a day Branden and I look forward to! His recent post on "The Night We Blinded Lemmy" left me with tears streaming down my face as I struggled to read it to Branden! We agreed that it was the best 'celebrity encounter' story we had ever heard!

Ok, now on to the:

(which means "favorite")

Not only is she eerily my older counterpart, having similar (but much worse) eye problems, she lived abroad (grew up in France) and she is very accident prone (she also had a 'getting stuck in the car window' story but hers was much worse) but it's also her BIRTHDAY!!

Crazy World: Melynda is a great writer, she has a wonderful sense humor, plenty of comedic scenarios in her life and she also can have you welling up with tears as she throws a few touching tales in here and there. She is such a strong woman and has overcome some things that I don't think I could ever handle and I am completely impressed by her.

Please go visit these wonderful blogs and enjoy all the fun and laugher that they contain! I love the people in my Blogland!

Tip for Caveman Convos

This came from yet another one of our bedtime conversations. We were discussing gender roles among cave peoples.

Tip of the Day: When given the answer to the question "How do you know that cavewomen weren't out hunting with the cavemen??" listening to your husband is key. "Cave panties" are completely different than "cave paintings"!

The poor man thought he gave an intellectual answer and couldn't figure out why I was cracking up...I figured out he didn't say "panties' a bit later and we both had a laugh!

My First Music Monday and My First Blog Award!

I woke up to a wonderful surprise this morning! Stephanie at Connecting with Stephanie has blessed me with my first ever award! If you haven't been to her blog then I absolutely insist that you go and visit because she is a funny and inspiring woman that truly connects with her readers. She is also a single mom to 'Peanut' who has her own blog at Good Times With Rebecca and Barkley. This is another must read and my particular favorite post is her most recent video made on The Wonderful World of Cats! Branden and I have watched this about half a dozen times and it cracks us up but also impresses the socks off of us! For a 7 year old, she has a wonderful imagination and Branden says she is a much better video presenter than I am! (and when you see the video, you will all agree with him!). Getting to see how creative and confident Peanut is has been the icing on the cake for getting to see an even more honest and beautiful side of Stephanie. She is a terrific mother, an enchanting woman and an amazing writer. I'm so honored that she is the first person to award me. Thank you Stephanie!

If you remember back to Wednesday, I mentioned that I would be starting a new theme on Mondays called Maggie's Music Monday. So what better to do than to make it all about Branden! As I have said a few times on my blog, and for those who are newer, I am not a mom. Branden has 3 girls. They are beautiful, have 'voices like angels' and take up very little space. I can't relate to them very well but I love seeing them with Branden because I know wonderful things will happen when they are together. Their names are Doris, Shanaynay and Hanalei.

This is Doris on the left and Shanaynay on the right. Shanaynay is Branden's first girl and she is a 1993 Gibson Les Paul Studio electric guitar and was one of the first made in Nashville. She spent the majority of her time with Branden, rocking on stage with his band Zeo Doxa (which you will get a full run down on a later Monday). Doris is his second girl and she is a 1958 Gibson LG-1 acoustic. She did a bit of globe trotting in her earlier days, which included trips to Japan and Egypt, but she sat in a closet for about 30 years so she's in mint condition. Hanalei is the baby, which is evident by her size since she is an Ukelele. We bought her on our honeymoon in Hawaii and she is 2009 Kamoa tenor sized Ukelele.

Transporting Branden's precious girls was no easy feat! Hanalei wasn't so bad except that we got very odd looks through the airport as we carried around what looked like a miniature guitar case. When we first moved to Scotland, we really had to pick and choose what to bring and what to leave behind. Since we were limited to two 50lb check in bags a piece, 1 overhead item and 1 personal item, I had to limit Branden to just Hanalei on our first trip. Knowing we were going back for Christmas in a few months, he figured he could manage with just her for the time being.

On our second trip of transporting stuff to Scotland, taking Doris and Shanaynay was a bit of a nightmare. Both of these guitars are actually very valuable so there wasn't a snowball's chance in hell that we were going to let them be checked in! It took a lot of convincing and me breaking down into tears at the counter for us to finally convince the airline to let us carry them on. Except our first trip, every time we have flown from the States to Europe we always go from Seattle to Amsterdam and then from Amsterdam to Edinburgh (or now, Dublin). This is much faster and avoids stopping off on the East Coast and also the horrific Heathrow Airport. However, this trip back with the two girls saw us caught up in a massive winter storm that gave us the only options of being stuck in Amsterdam for a few days until a blizzard passed or flying into London and figuring out any way we could to get all the way up to Scotland. Wanting to get back to Edinburgh, we chose the second option, which meant trekking those girls through crowded London tubes and finally a train that took 3 hours more than normal due to ice on the tracks to get home. But they made it and they were safe!

We left them in Edinburgh with our wonderful neighbors when we went back to the States for 3 months at the beginning of this year, and then it was another journey on trains and a ferry to get them into Ireland.  I tell Branden that he better not change his plans and have us move back to America because I don't even want to think about flying them back!

This is a video of Branden and his younger brother Adam playing together. They almost have a telepathic connection when it comes to playing. It's almost magical to watch them play as they just come up with amazing tunes off the top of their heads without ever speaking a word to each other as they blend seamlessly. Adam's guitar in the video is an early 2000s Gibson acoustic, so I find the flow of sound of the 'grandmother' and 'granddaughter' guitars incredible.

If I'm not mistaken, they 'invented' this tune that same day and only played it a few times before performing.

I hope you enjoyed my first Music Monday and hearing about our wild and crazy adventures! At some point, we will be looking into adding a banjo and mandolin to our cherished brood but until then, we are very thankful for the 3 girls we have now.

How Star Wars Restored My Confidence

When Branden and I first started dating, I became very self conscious. He was only just 21 at the time (I was 24), was already getting ready to graduate with a Bachelor's degree, was set to start his Master's program in the Autumn, and knew he would go on to achieve his PhD and become a University Professor in Ireland as the finale to his massive intellectual conquest. I on the other hand, had my small town high school diploma, petitioned against the school in my junior year as they were going to enforce all seniors to take all 6 classes despite the fact that some of them (like myself) didn't need to, won my petition, took 3 classes my first semester and only 2 my second semester, was granted a scholarship and never used it, and had no plans whatsoever on going to college and having a career. My biggest goal was just to eventually get married, be a support for my husband, and be a stay at home mom for my kids. I'm do apologize to all those who burned their bras for seemingly ingrates like me, but that was all I wanted, and I knew and felt how much I was looked down on for this.

With Branden having all of his academic goals and being around all the smart college girls, I was a bit afraid that he would eventually come to the realization that I was definitely not anywhere near his 'standard' of woman. But then he did something that gave me hope...

We were chatting on Facebook (while I was at work), and when I had to go we set to talk on the phone that night. He told me that he couldn't call me until late, probably about 10ish, because he made plans with his roommate to play Star Wars (He was/is a hot academic so I let some nerdy things slide!). Later that night when he called me, I asked him how his night went. Now in my mind, playing Star Wars meant they were playing a video game, but somehow it came up and I discovered that my nerdy academic was a bit more like me than I had realized. Yes, he had played a Star Wars video game with his roommate, but then afterwards they ran around their apartment shooting each other with their imaginary Star Wars blaster guns, complete with *beeow* *beeow* noises. Apparently they even did this randomly around campus.

What a relief! I felt more secure about the fort Chrissy and I built under my dining room table just months earlier and how I found more joy in stupid and silly things than in the discovery of a new planet! I still had some nervousness about our differences, but when I finally talked to Branden about it I was put completely at ease. He actually wanted a wife who would want to be a stay at home mom and wasn't caught up in a career so that she could be flexible enough to go through the big move to another country.  He also saw how out of touch with reality some professors could be and how socially awkward they can become when they just surround themselves with people like them, so he really wanted a more down to earth wife to keep him grounded.

I really had nothing to worry about and even though my conversation with him was the most obvious of reassurances, playing Star Wars with his roommate was the best proof I could have ever had!

Surveillance Camera Humiliation

When I was a kid (a younger kid than I am currently) my sister and I went to Costco with my mom. On our way out my sister was pushing the cart to the car, (running I might add) while I was standing on the front enjoying the ride and mom was following behind us. In the cart was a box with 2 gallons of milk in it, a large jug of juice, and some other random groceries. I decided I wanted off and put my food down. I DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS! It jammed under the front of the cart causing the whole thing to nose dive on top of me. Because it happened so quickly, my sister didn't have time to let go and was dangling at the top, feet kicking. Of course the groceries all fell on top of me, and my ever so helpful mother was unable to stand from laughter, so she sat in the parking lot trying not to pee her pants. Luckily I was fine, my sis got back on solid ground and mom somehow managed to not wet herself. We laughed over how great it would be to get ahold of the surveillance camera footage for that parking lot!

Little did I know this concept of being a surveillance camera freak show would haunt me later in life.

Back when I still had a license, drove and owned a car, I went to the movies with some friends. At the time I only had a two seater car, so my friend had to drive us in her old Oldsmobile. I didn't have any cash on me so I made her drive me through the ATM on our way there. I was sitting in the back seat behind the driver so she just pulled forward a bit extra so I could use my window. It was an older Oldsmobile and the back windows had that "child safety" feature where the windows only roll down half way. The ATM was kind of high so I had to actually stick out of the window to reach it. As I was waist up out of the window and looking quite silly, one of my friends said that the surveillance video was going to be interesting! We had a laugh, I got my cash and proceeded back through the window...except I got stuck! Now I am a 'well endowed' woman, so when it came to my 'chesticular' area going back through the window, my boobs just laughed at me! I don't know how I got them so easily out the window but there was no way they were going back in! The entire car and myself were all cracking up but I was starting to panic thinking that if we had to call the fire department they might have to cut my girls off! I tried moving sideways, flattening myself, backwards, and it was starting to get painful. We came to the conclusion that these weren't very good 'safety' windows! Finally after about 5 minutes of struggling like a fat retriever stuck in a doggie door I popped back through the window. Once some of the laughter and my whimpering died down, there was much discussion about how the surveillance video was probably going to be the highlight of the bank Christmas party!

*The inspiration for sharing these stories today came from another one of my husband and my conversations last night while laying in bed. I was wondering out loud what to blog about today and he started laughing as he said, "How about the time you got stuck in the window at the ATM?". I didn't actually know Branden when this situation happened but apparently the notorious tale 'stuck' with him   ;)