Wednesday, April 4, 2012

The Many Adventures of Maggie with Poo!


I'm cleaning like a mad woman today since we have friends coming to cook for us in our house tomorrow (don't you wish you had our crazy convincing skills!) so I had to dig through my ancient archives of old blog fodder to give you something today. This was written about 6 years ago but the memories linger for a lifetime...unfortunately...

I guess you could say that poo has been a background theme in my life. There have been many strange
instances with this crap and most of them I would like to wipe from my memory! When I was 3, we were having a snowball fight and my neighbor hit me right in the mouth. Unfortunately for me it was loaded with dog poo but luckily my vomit cleansed the taste from my mouth. When I was about 4, my neighbors had a new kitty. I loved kitties so much and I loved to hold them. I held it a bit too tight however, squeezing the poo right out of it and all over my shirt! 

At about age 13 my sister and I were walking along a muddy road and got into a mud fight. After being covered in mud we started to notice a nasty smell. It was then our intelligent minds realized that this mud from the road IN a cow field might be contaminated! Imagine that! I had a friend in high school that would get into horse poo fights with me...it is good for throwing. I have also been pooped on by seagulls twice in my life. 

About 3 months ago I was running the steer shoot at roping practice and the steer kicked up a lot of poo as he shot out of the shoot. It landed on my sweatshirt so I flicked the material to get it off causing the poo to take flight yet again. This time it landed perfectly...on my bottom lip! I was spewing and spitting for a long time...ulgh! 

Moral of this blog: Don't pitch me crap...it has a tendency to land in my mouth !

16 comments:

  1. Does that mean you're the Princess of Poo?

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  2. The irony to me reading this poo related post is Im reading this post in the bathroom while.... oh nevermind!

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  3. My dad grew up on a farm. He said they played ball with frozen cow pies.

    Love,
    Janie

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  4. This reminds me of the "Winnie the Shit" joke. Making me laugh here, Maggie.

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  5. This is too funny! Disgusting, but very funny! Ick, Ick on the poo in the mouth!!

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  6. Your vomit cleansed the taste from your mouth??? No sh@t!

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  7. Man, I knew I shouldn't have been eating when I started this..LOL

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  8. Oh Mags! One day I will tell my doggie poo story to make you feel better! lol

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  9. I hope you had such a great time with your friends tonight :)

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  10. Ha ha. Maggie, your blog reminds me of a report in our newspaper recently of a NZ school girl who gave a speech on farts. Yes, you know, the smelly kind. Apparently she related several scientific facts and held the audience smell - oops, - spellbound. Talk about the unthinkable! - Dave

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  11. Wow. This is a really different way to start the week.

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  12. I hope you had a great Easter in spite of the weather!

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  13. OMG. You're making me laugh so hard that I just about crapped my pants.;)

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Does this straitjacket make my butt look big?