Thursday, December 5, 2013

Da Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb!

I love Christmas. I have been decorating since the beginning of November and listening to Christmas music since October. However, there is one "Christmas" thing (in quotes because I don't consider it to be legit) that is like fingernails on a chalkboard to my festive ears. The Little Drummer Boy.

I hate that little punk with his lame story line, obnoxious lyrics ("pa rum pum pum pum" are not lyrics or drum noises!), and boring melody that sound like children of the Christmas corn chanting. Lately there has been a viral video of an A Capella group singing this festive nightmare of a song, which I refuse to post for fear of inviting a drumming poltergeist to my blog, and I am the least bit impressed...and couldn't even make it to the 1 min mark. They had the same effect as rolling a cat turd in chocolate...or marmite...either way it is still gross and still poop. I suppose if I liked overly auto-tuned 90 music then it would have been palatable but it is still the Little Drummer Boy and he is still an unbiblical nuisance that should just be considered of the devil and burned at the stake.

Due to the multiple shares of this atrocity of a video, I posted this as my facebook status recently:

Dear Little Drummer Boy,

You are still obnoxious, annoying, and do I have to even mention unBiblical!?! Once again you are not invited to any part of my Christmas celebrating no matter how "amazing" some band remade you because in all seriousness, no amount of redoing could ever make you tolerable to my eardrums.


P.S. I'm pretty sure if you were real you would have made baby Jesus cry and spit up on himself.

This did create a bit of hubub from my friends and family but I suppose the real questions is, "Why on earth do you like this song???". I seriously need to know because I just don't get it. I would understand using a hedgehog for a toothbrush before I could understand the cultish following of this instrumentally challenged kid.

I would just much rather listen to this:


  1. I like "Drummer Boy", but that "O Holy Night" was AWFUL!!

  2. I can't stand that song... though there are worse ones.

    Feliz Navidad is my personal Christmas song from hell.

  3. O Holy Night is my favorite. I sing it–a lot.


  4. I had always wondered about why the Little Drummer Boy song was part of Christmas, too. It's not in the Bible, no drummer showed up, and no newborn baby wants to hear a drum solo. And neither would his mom. It must have been written by a drummer.


Does this straitjacket make my butt look big?