My grandparents are highly entertaining, and my Grandpa is easily the quirkiest of the 3 grandparents that I have left (my other grandpa died when I was 6). He can't get his words strait and either makes up a new word or just replaces it with one that doesn't even come close to matching.
Example: He and Grandma went over to some friends' house for dinner. When they got there, they knocked on the door. Nobody answered so they knocked again; still no answer. Finally after a while, the people answered the door and Grandpa said, "Man, I was getting worried. Thought I was going to have to burst in and perform artificial insemination!" Poor Grandma wanted to die! Respiration, insemination...what's the difference!?!
Grandpa also does some things that are poorly thought out, but luckily they end up to be pretty funny.
Example: They have a large gravel parking area next to the house and it gets a lot of leaves in the fall. Grandpa has a leaf blower, but he has to stand and walk around with it...too much work! So he got the brilliant idea to use his riding lawn mower so then he could just sit back and blow away those leaves with ease! Not too bad of an idea until Grandma came screaming out of the house because he managed to break the bathroom and bedroom windows with the gravel that also inhabits the parking area! Then Grandma noticed that he also broke out a back window of their car! He was in soo much trouble that you would think he'd have learned his lesson...oh no. Next year he did it again, and broke out the same windows! I think Grandma might have taken the lawn mower away from him...we can only hope!