An "Average" Wife...

The amazing, wonderful Michele AKA BodaciousBoomer posted a marital test for husbands and wives that was published back in 1939. I took it and only scored a 7 which was bad because apparently you needed over 70some points to be "Very Superior". I could only see that there were 25 points possible so when I shared this on Facebook, my friends pointed out that it was actually a longer test and it gave the husband's side!

You can take the test over at BobaciousBoomer's site by clicking HERE and you also should make sure that you are following her blog, if you don't already, because she is hysterical and fabulous! She is an amazing artist, which I find it a bit ironic that my mom-in-law is an amazing artist as well and spells her name the same way "Michele" does with one "l". (TOP TIP: if you want an incredibly artistic child, name her Michele with one "l"). You can see some of Boomer's stuff and get updates on her items for purchase by simply liking her Facebook page: Ecofab Gifts

So back to the test. Branden and I took it and we had a laugh filling out the questions for each other! Branden had a whopping 109 merits and only 14 demerits so he got a grand total of 95! Well above the "Very Superior" range! And myself??? Ummm, well, I did get 84 merits....but I also got 30 demerits so I only ended up with a lousy 54 points! That puts me in the "Average" range. Some of the questions were hilarious though and Branden did say that I lost out on a lot of points since we dont't have kids...plus I would think that I am far from "Average"!

So how well did you do and do you have any favorite questions? You can leave your responses either here or just over at BodaciousBoomer's because I'm there all the time and love reading her comments!

Double Whammy!

Yesterday was not only Father's Day but it was also my Dad's birthday! I was my Dad's fishing and hunting buddy, he always changed our oil and took care of our cars, I had a blast screaming for him and video taping his vintage motorcycle races (he was really good!), and nobody barbecues salmon like he does! My dad put up a lot with my sis, my mom, and me, like the time we dyed his whitey-tighties pink and hung them on the clothes line outside. 

But when I got my pony for my birthday, he put up all the fencing and made a shed for her, if the dog got sick and pooped all over the garage (where she slept at night), dad shoveled it out while we all pressed our ears to the door and giggled while he loudly gagged, and if it snowed, he would make amazing sled runs with jumps down our hill. He'd send us flowers sometimes when we were high school because he knew how much we loved it, and then we'd carry them around all day for everyone to see.

My dad's the one who taught me that I never have to grow up, he's the one I get my bright blue eyes and long eyelashes from, my stubbornness, my soft heart, and the wisdom that I don't need money or things to be happy. As long as I have God, I will have true joy and everything else will be provided. Thanks for showing me that Dad. I never would have realized then how much it would mean now!

Since today is Music Monday, you are all going to get a peek at a family tradition that my Dad does whenever it's one of our birthdays. He always sings (a slightly modified version) The Beatles "Birthday" song. Branden and I made him a video for his birthday, and I actually think it may be less embarrassing than last year's video! 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!!

And I thought I had issues!

Every month brings more and more freaks who have found my blog by their odd search engine phrases. This month had me scratching my head thinking, "How on earth did my blog come up from that!?!". Since you all like analyzing my bizarre search engine hits as much as I do, here are my "favorites" from the past month.

Big hairy men in heels: Ewwwwww! This is a fetish I was not aware of and unless Branden has tried cramming his giant plank feet into my tiny heels and posting photos secretly on my blog, then there is no reason for you to be here!

Slaughter can't be written without laughter: Sure, I have good reason to have a slight fear of your finding me through this (especially if you are a stalker) but I actually like your style as this phrase always gets me giggling...I'm so bad, I know!

Elderly pinata: Do you have some urge to beat old people with a stick??? That's just sick and wrong...unless it's for some type of dominatrix nursing home and then to each his own I suppose.

Slow loris in bread: I'm sorry, but last I checked, a slow loris is one of the cutest animals on the planet and you want to put it in your loaf?!? I bet you have no soul.

Is coconut milk supposed to smell like farts? Ok so I'm not actually going to scold you, dear searcher. I had to do this exact search when I bought my first can of coconut milk, with the exception that I specified that it smelled like a monkey had farted into the coconut before canning. Even though I was told that it was ok, after buying a different brand of canned coconut milk, I have discovered that it should not smell like monkey farts at all! Get another brand and stop drinking fart juice!

Saggy grandpa butt from just like heaven: Again, who are you sick people with your odd fetishes?! But most importantly, why did your search for a saggy grandpa butt bring you to my site!?! I only just got a butt over a year ago from eating fatty foods in the States so it's hardly had enough time to be affected by gravity, thank you very much!

Mother in law caught me sniffing her knickers: You take the cake as the nastiest searcher! Why oh why would someone A. do this, and 2. want to search this??? I know my Padded Cell may be a place for crazies to flock, but my goodness I seem to have a herd of crazies this month!

I think I need to take one searcher's advice of padded cell vacation! Happy Friday everyone! See you in Blogland next week!

Scarring the Household Staff

Before I start my post for today, I have to let you know that I am thankfully not coming down with anything and yesterday was just an odd, sleepy day. Branden was sleepy and so was one of our housemates, but thankfully they were both out of the house at work all day so I can rule out gas leak! I'm much more normal today and so is Branden, although we had a bit of a boost of energy in our house last night...

Way back in February, I mentioned eating dried caterpillars provided by our housemate from Botswana. You can refresh your memory HERE if you need to. Yesterday, he had a BBQ for a lot of his friends from church, a lot of them were also from Botswana, so he prepared his dried caterpillars by boiling them in water, frying them in oil and then adding some seasoning and chopped tomatoes to the pot. Branden said they were pretty good. I saw that they looked more like a real, mushy caterpillar and decided to not kill my eating experience for the rest of the BBQ.

It was such a fun night and by the time everyone left and we had cleared the kitchen up, our housemate was too exhausted to take care of his pot of remaining caterpillars that he had forgotten on the stovetop. Apparently this morning was a bit of a rush for him too, so when I went out to get my breakfast and coffee (at 10:30am) the pot remained next to the stove, still containing bloated caterpillars. A few hours later, our house cleaners showed up and by the time they hit the kitchen, they also hit the shock of their lives!

Since my bedroom is on the bottom floor, I can hear kitchen conversations pretty easily. So this is what I heard.
"UUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH! BLAAAAAAAAAAAA!!"
And another cleaner chiming in with, "EEEEEEEEEEEEEE! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

Now at first, I couldn't figure out what they were freaking out over. I have been living with someone who regularly eats caterpillars for 6 months now so my mind has oddly adapted well.

"That is so BBBBLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAA!!"

The lightbulb came on and I remembered the pot of caterpillars on the counter. Branden called me on his lunch break in the middle of all this and I tried to quietly giggle over their reactions.

"UUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Are you Ok?"

"I've never seen something more disgusting in my life!" and then she called to another cleaner to come take a look where more shrieking continued.

Branden and I were both cracking up as he was still on the line and I was relaying their horrors. I will admit that I did have a slight concern that they would throw the caterpillars out and our housemate wouldn't have them for leftovers but then I figured they were too terrified to go near the pot so the 'food' would be safe.

Branden said, "You should go out and just pop one in your mouth in front of them!" but I shot the idea down with, "That would be hysterical and I would do it if they were dried, but since they are all plump and have been sitting out all night, I have no idea what kind of food poisoning nasties could come from those!"

I can't wait for our housemate to come home and I can tell him how he scarred the house cleaners for life!

The horrors of the house cleaners! And I'll just say "You're Welcome!" now for your appreciation in assisting your diets  ;)

Out of cell message...due to brain inactivity

I'm sorry buy my brain has checked out for the day in an attempt to fight off sleepiness and search for some form of mental clarity. Funny tales are far out of reach in my memory log and I'm not even sure that I can remember my age at this point. (NOTE: if you do know it, please don't remind me and let me live in temporary bliss)

I just saw something shiny and I have brief recollection of making something decadent that contained sugar, butter, and lemon so I may drag myself out of bed and see what wonders I can discover from foraging in the kitchen. I think I may be needing to do something that is often referred to as "cleaning" and "laundry" (do these words sound right?) but for some reason the only thing that I can think of is to specify the phrase "NO, I'M STILL NOT PREGNANT SO FORGET EVEN SUGGESTING IT".

Yes, that seems about right so I'm going to leave you now as typing is draining the slivers of energy remaining from my 2 cups of coffee and sugar from lemon yumminess that I ate earlier. And to quote a phrase by I don't know who, "If you see my mind wandering, please bring it home as it is too small to be out on it's own." It should look fuzzy, half asleep, and confused...so like a cat when it's just woken up...