I want to bring to light a horrible condition that affects everyone in their lifetime (except maybe mute people): Foot-in-Mouth Disease. This crippling condition can leave you trying to hide behind your own mug, slinking to the floor and attempting to melt away, and/or giggling nervously, which actually just makes you sound like a creeper. With such a widespread disease, it's a wonder that there aren't any charities set up for it or at least informational television programs that can teach us how to prevent, treat, and blend into curtains at any given point.
I know that I have suffered from Foot-in-Mouth greatly but as it is still before 11am, my memory isn't very good...except for remembering things about my husband. Just the other night, Branden came down with an unexpected case of Foot-in-Mouth, resulting in eyebrow raising, severe side poking, and a secondary outbreak. Here's the case study:
A lovely couple prepare to go to sleep. The husband preps his pillows and chooses the one he wants to place on the side of the bed facing the wall so he can cuddle it in the night when he's not facing the other way and cuddling his wonderful, perfect, incredible wife. *note: This is a case study so the opinion of the writer is unbiased
Husband: "This one is better because it's lumpy."
Wife: eyebrows raised "What?! This is what you use to mimic me and you choose the lumpy one as the most realistic??"
*first outbreak of Foot-in-Mouth
Husband: awkwardly giggling like a creeper "No, no, no! It's not that you are lumpy. It's just not as nice as a head pillow because it's lumpy."
Wife now begins severe side poking
Husband: "You are not lumpy! I use the other one too; it's fluffy."
*second outbreak of Foot-in-Mouth
Wife: eyebrows raised so high, they are practically in the back of her head "FLUFFY!! So I'm lumpy and fluffy!?!" more severe side poking
Husband: awkwardly giggling even more like a creeper and hesitant to speak again in case the disease takes an even stronger hold
Has this ever happened to you? With all the advancements in health and science, why isn't enough being done to protect the innocent victims, like the lovely wife, from encountering diseased Foot-in-Mouth sufferers? And most importantly, is it justified to just shoot those diseased???
What are your thoughts?