Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Not a suitable TP substitute!

Going into the cupboard to get more toilet paper, I noticed along with a description of softness, there was a picture of a fuzzy baby duck on the packaging. This got me thinking so I took the packaging into Branden, who was studying in the living room.

Me: Have you every thought while using the TP that it reminds you of wiping with a baby duck?

Branden (oddly laughing): No, I can't say I have!

Me: Why do toilet paper packages always use baby ducks or puppies as a comparative reference for how soft our toilet paper is?

Branden: I don't know but they do tend to go for fluffy animals to let you know how soft it is.

Me: But how many people actually know what it feels like to wipe their bum with a puppy? Did the advertising manager find himself having to go to the bathroom outside near a pond, and the only thing nearby was a baby duck? That's pretty disturbing!

Branden: I don't know Mags...

What is wrong with our world???

Recent Development:
Branden and I went shopping and had to pick up some more TP at the store. I found that apparently regular toilet paper feels like a baby duck, toilet paper with aloe feels like a kitten, and peach scented toilet paper feels like a baby bunny! If there was ever a time to be against animal testing, then this is it!

21 comments:

  1. Those toilet paper makers are sick--aren't they! Although it kind of makes sense. Anyone who would make TP for a living, might have some type of issue anyway. Imagine the conversations they have at high school reunions. "What do you do for a living?"
    "I help people's butts stay baby-duck-soft."
    Ug! That wouldn't go over well. You're right. What are they thinking!

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    1. OH goodness, I never thought of the actual characteristics of a toilet paper manufacturer! They must be odd ducks...hehehehe

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  2. I always wipe my ass with a kitten. What's wrong with you, Maggie? (Hint: Kittens bathe themselves. That's why it's o.k. to wipe with a kitten.)

    Love,
    Lola

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    1. Good point with the self cleaning ass-pect ;)

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    2. I'm laughing so hard the laptop is bouncing up and down on my jelly belly.

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  3. hahahahaha, hehehehehehe. only you. thanks for the laugh.

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    1. You will never buy tp the same way again...you're welcome :)

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  4. What is TP? I use ducks, rabbits, puppies and, occasionally, baby anteaters.

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    1. Baby anteaters??? You may need to write in to your favorite toilet paper manufacturer and make a fortune in royalties for the baby anteater comparison! Maybe it would be a good comparison to the recyclable brown paper tp?

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    2. Good point. Excellent advice. If I end up a millionaire, I'll send you a piece of the money pie. :D

      By the way (imagine a rough and tough voice), I'm Blue Bat.

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  5. You would think they would use soft animals on Preparation H or Tucks or some similar product.

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    1. Good point! Then they could say that the competition uses baby porcupines :)

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  6. The packaging on Angel Soft tp has a picture of a BABY on it!!! A baby! That's just wrong.

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    Replies
    1. Angel Soft is blasphemous! Who are these sick people??

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  7. Hmmmm, id I ever runout of TP, now I know I can use my kids pet as a substitute. Thanks!

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  8. Depending on what they have, you could use anything from a guinea pig to a baby pony based on how 'in need' you are!

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  9. I use manly toilet paper with pictures of barbed wire and broken bottles on the packaging.

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  10. LOL! This is great... Thanks for the laugh! I'm going to ask Binderclips what he thinks about it too. I'm interested in hearing if he will respond the same way Branden did (like he thought you were crazy). :)

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  11. My Maggie, you sure have some funny thoughts! :-) - Dave

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  12. I think anyone in that line of work would lie at reunions and substitute a less embarassing option for what they do.

    "I spend my summers being the target at carnival dunk tanks for a living."

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Does this straitjacket make my butt look big?