Friday, July 13, 2012

Mauled by a Mountain Lion

I HATE technology. I have the most basic phone that I can own, I text like a grandma with severe arthritis, but I kick serious booty on my snake game. Branden's laptop is a Mac and I don't mind it for the most part, it's gotten me by in the days before I was blessed with my laptop. (Joshua rocks!) The newest upgraded system for Mac is coming out and there is something about it that irritates me to no end: it's called "Mountain Lion"! The current system is called "Snow Leopard" which I think is just some desperate ploy to get nerds sounding "cool" by talking about the vicious big cats that they own....it's not working fyi.

Branden is all excited that Mountain Lion is coming out because it will have so many new 'cool' features. I told him that if we are buying anything called "Mountain Lion" then I expect his face to be fully mauled by the time it's completely downloaded. We even had a discussion last night about him not referring to our computer stuff in giant feline terms, but I think he just loves seeing my hackles go up whenever he mentions it.

This morning, I turned on my wonderful laptop and got started on a Word document. I love Word, I know Word, it's nothing like Mac's Pages, and I like how I can find everything I need easily...until today. Now go back and throw in "used to" in all of those statements! Despite it being Word 2007, I have apparently been out of the loop for a lot longer than I first thought. All I needed to do was insert a simple calendar, *5 mins to find it* make it for the month I needed it for, *5 mins to change manually and 7 mins for Branden to insist there is a format for that in the program and go searching for it* add in a few names, *easy 1 min* and then make another calendar for the next month with the same type of stuff on it *15 mins pulling my hair out trying to figure out why it wouldn't copy and paste fully, why it wouldn't fit the names the same way, and Branden still insisting there is a format*.

I hadn't had my coffee yet so it was not my best moment when I blamed Branden completely because, "You are a nerd and you like this technology crap so it's your fault I have to spend all this time when I could have been done in 5 mins if I had printed out a blank calendar and written in the names!" and, "You have nerd connections, so can't you get someone to yell at Bill Gates for having a stupid, confusing program!". Thankfully, Branden finds this all rather humorous and he even decided it would be a good time to mention how good "Mountain Lion" will be...*face mauling 45% complete...

18 comments:

  1. You are too funny. I fight technology also...but it usually wins out and I eat my WORDs...lol
    Have a great weekend!!!!

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    1. At least you have Peanut, she's under 20 so she should be a computer genius! ;) Hope you have a great weekend as well!

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  2. LOL! I never thought about Apple naming their OS like that for that reason, you might be right about that! Also, I have moments of memory lapse where I can't remember how to do things I do everyday, so I feel your frustration on inserting a calendar into the word document.

    PS I am a HUGE fan of irrationally blaming others for stuff they can't control. I like to blame the hubs for stuff like "you being so tall is why I'm so short" (what I mean of course is relative to him I will always be a shorty).

    Have a good weekend!

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    1. Irrational blamers unite! Oh wait, we already do...it's called having married girlfriends! hehehe

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  3. It's because you were using Word to make a calendar. Use Excel instead and just create it from a template.

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    1. I'll give you the same response I gave my nerd when he told me this same thing this morning, "There's no way I'm opening that insane program! It's at least 10x's more confusing than Word and I'm pretty sure was designed by the devil!"
      Yeah, so Excel is definitely not an option!

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  4. I am a bloody & beaten remnant of the computer wars. Thank heaven for my son. He has something called LogMeIn.com where he can work on my computer from his & fix my problems eithout leaving his house. I'm too old for this stuff!!

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    1. Last time we were back in the States, Branden was going to set both of our parents' computers up so he could fix them from over here...never got around to it but actually since his parents got a Mac and can't get viruses, it's so much easier!

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  5. This was hilarious and oh, so familiar! I admit, sheepishly, that I have a mac, and I admit, (sorry) that I mostly love it, but that is because I purchased WORD for mac about two days after I attempted to deal with Pages.

    Still, I know exactly what you mean. I still have the earlier version of mac (I can't recall what it's called, but it's a feline name, I think) and won't be upgrading, because I hate spending the time learning the upgrade stuff.

    I fortunately have daughters who fix my problems and help me out when in a bind.

    PS ~ I've never completely figured out EXCEL either, even though one of my daughters tried very patiently to teach me. I'm a WORD girl, forever and ever, the simpler the better!

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    1. I actually do like my husband's Mac for the simple fact that the touchpad mouse is brilliant (although having a mouse for my laptop is more brilliant!) and the thing doesn't get viruses. I came to the horrifying realization today that I know the Windows 98 version of Word! HOLY CRAP THAT WAS 12 YEARS AGO!

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  6. My mom gave me her laptop that's a 2003. It runs slow, but has the old version of Word on it. I'm so excited-I can add page numbers again LOL

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    1. Oh how I envy your outdated simplistic laptop! I'm not buying the whole "technology makes it easier"!

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  7. You tell Branden that I said it's not wise to irritate a princess -- or her fans.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. Hahahaha! He may have realized that within the first 5% of his face mauling ;)

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  8. At least your OS has powerful names. And most of us feel mauled after dealing with tech stuff.

    At least Mountain sounds better than the names Android's OS have...like Gingerbread....

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  9. The technology is, of course, conspiring against us....

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  10. I have a Word calendar template around here somewhere. I think they just decided not to have normal ones this year, and had to try to get all fancy.

    But at least I got paid for the 2 hours I spent in January making the Word calendar work so that I have 2 months on every page.

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Does this straitjacket make my butt look big?