Thursday, December 22, 2011

3 days to get better...

I'd give an update on my condition but I can't type in whine. Basically just re-read yesterday's post but imagine me with much less sleep.

This means I'm cheating on my post today and just sharing an old post from 2005. I used to do shaped posts which were kind of cool looking but super hard to do. I hope you enjoy!

                                           I  like to                                          $
                                     eat candy canes.                                   %
                              I love the peppermint taste;                           $
                       it is so good!  The fruity ones are a
                bit funky but I'll still eat them. The one thing
             that I don't like about       candy  canes is  that
            they can cut the roof         of your mouth so bad
            you may as well be           licking  a razor  blade!
            You think that  it's             just the red  coloring
            that's  starting to              run; but in reality it is
           your blood! Lucky              the peppermint covers
           the taste  of  the                blood but it also burns
          the cut really bad.               The candy cane gets a
           sharp ridge in it                  which  really hurts if a
                                                   taste bud gets stuck in
                                                    it! Then  your tongue            $
                                                   starts bleeding,adding           %
                                                   more bleeding parts in           $
                                                   your mouth.  Still  the
                                                   flavoring  covers that
                                                   yucky blood taste but
                                                   now  it's causing  your
                                                   mouth  to  burn  even
                                                   more!  Nothing  says
                                                   Merry Christmas  like
                                                   a kid  with a  smiling,
                                                   bloody mouth all due
                                                   to that  wonderfully
                                                   great holiday treat:
                                                   The candy cane! Do
                                                    you have any idea               $
                                                      how difficult this                
                                                        was to write?                   $

*Note: this horrible mouth torture also applies to the countless amounts of throat lozenges I've been consuming. It felt like my satsuma had battery acid in it instead of citric acid this morning and my Irish version of lemon Theraflu (which means it has nothing helpful in it) made my throat even more sore. Well, Branden left me some money so I should probably shower and head to the Pharmacy.


  1. lol I think I just peed myself a little laughing at you! Candy canes? Awesome! Sorry you're not feeling well girl. Hope you get better soon. Do you have strep?

  2. The candy cane was so cool...very impressed!
    And again, feel better!!!!!

  3. Get medicine, not chocolate. Feel better.

  4. Oh young one, did you also run over a busload of nuns and orphans in a past life? That's the only explanation I can imagine.

    Feel better soon.

  5. To paraphrase JOSHUA:

    Get booze, not medicine. Feel better.

    Actually, booze may not make you feel better, but you won't care any more.

  6. I'm with Joshua and fishducky. I recommend screwdrivers. I didn't realize candy canes could be so dangerous. Thanks for letting me know. I'll take them away from every child I see.



Does this straitjacket make my butt look big?