I believe that there is a fabulous phrase that adults don't use with each other enough: "Make Good Choices!" My best friend Chrissy was the first person to say this to me as a grown woman and it totally caught me off guard and made me laugh hysterically! I decided from there on, I would use it whenever I found a chance. The best time was earlier this year when I was back in the States and was with my mom as she was having to go in for her first colonoscopy. Since they give you some pretty funky drugs, she needed me to be there for her when she was done so that I could help her get dressed and make sure she was ok. Considering how loopy she was afterwards, I think the whole idea about aliens probing anuses only came about after this procedure came into practice.
Anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself. Before mom was taken off to be roto-rooted, we waited in another room where she changed into her hospital gown and got hooked up to some machines. When the time came for her procedure, the nurse came and got her and they both waived goodbye and 'see ya later' to me. This was my moment! They stepped out of the room and I called out, "Make good choices!" I heard my mom do her little airy laugh that usually means "where did this child come from?!", but the nurse was totally thrown off. She did a very confused laugh at first, and then proceeded to grill my mom all the way down the hall:
Nurse: How cute! Why did she say that?
Partially drugged Ma: To be funny.
Nurse: Oh so did you used to say that to her as a teenager then and so she says it to you now?
Ma: No, I never had to say that to her growing up.
Nurse: Did she get it from her dad?
Ma: No, she was an easy teenager and we never had to say that to her.
Even more confused Nurse: Well then where did she come up with that?
Ma: I don't know, you never know what that child will come up with. (slight tone of "Lady, I'm about to have 15 feet of cable shoved up my rectum so I have bigger things to be concerned about!")
The nurse pressed on, but their voices were muffled as they entered the probe room and I sat in my room, waiting and with a big grin on my face!
I urge you good people, whenever a chance presents itself, find a way to use "Make good choices!" as often as you can to your adult friends and family, and you can have your own fun and awkward story to tell!
You made a good choice by posting this. It made me smile.
ReplyDeleteYou made me laugh out loud. But for your mom, please tell her next time to tell the doc she wants Versed.
ReplyDeleteThey start an IV push the Versed and she's out. Then the second they stop it, she's awake. No grogginess. It's fabulous.
Your mom probably wanted to kill you for making her endure that conversation. :-)
ReplyDeleteDone and done!
ReplyDeleteI loved this! How funny. I am an adult but I think I'm still gonna use it as often as possible! Thanks for your comment on my blog. I had the same surgery on my retina last year. Unfortunately that is now my blind eye. Nothing they could do. It is also the eye that is having the prob now. Oh well. I wish they would give me some drugs! I get ibuprofen. Yeah! Anyway I'll be following.. I always need a good laugh. Oh by the way most of my post are not so dreary. lol
ReplyDeleteAt a minimum, I hope my daughter does this with boyfriends.
ReplyDeleteOr girlfriends. I'm equal opportune.