Monday, January 2, 2012

Holy Honey Ham that's Hot!

2012 and I are not getting off on the right foot. Branden and I went grocery shopping yesterday and were happy to find that all of the big Christmas hams were 1/2 off! We bought a 3kg smoked ham with every intent of cooking it up, eating some for dinner and then having lots of yummy ham leftovers. Lunch meat is so expensive so we were looking forward to real ham sandwiches at a fraction of the price!

We have discovered the best way to cook ham is by first boiling it in Coke and then baking it with a brown sugar glaze. Since it was a smoked ham and I didn't have time to soak it in cold water overnight to get rid of the excess salt, I did the quick version by putting it in a pot of cold water and bringing it to the boil while scraping off any gunk off the top. Once it's to the boil, then I can take it out and start boiling it in Coke with a chopped onion (we used 2 small red onions) and some peppercorns. Since it was a big ham, we boiled it for an hour and half. We boiled it in the biggest pot we had but it still stuck out the top of the liquid a little bit so halfway through the boiling process, I had to flip the ham. I had a big plastic stirring spoon that I had been using, so I used that to try and shift the ham.

My big spoon managed to slip off of the ham, shooting a large spoonful of boiling Coke right down my shirt and onto my left "chest area"! I ran to the bathroom, threw my burning top off, and put a room temp damp towel on my burning area. I've heard not to put cold water on a burn so that's why I did just room temp water. Then I put some antiseptic stuff we have that is supposed to be good for burns, and then some plain lotion. Amongst all the pain of a burned boob, Branden and I were still managing to laugh about all of this. I always seem to hurt myself in the strangest ways!

Later, after our tasty ham meal, I was in an odd funk where anything Branden said or did would just irritate me to no end. I have found that the easiest ways to deal with these funks is to just be open about them and tell Branden outright that I'm in an odd bad mood. After announcing my pissy predicament, he said something sarcastically that caused me to laugh and then 'attack' him for irritating 'the monster' (aka me). My attack came in the form of tickling his ribs, but in his attempt to block being tickled, my wrist collided with his hand, pushing my palm inwards, and making loud popping sounds. Some tears later, I decided that 2012 is not very nice and I hope it get's it's Mayan come-up-ins!

Poor Branden felt so bad but it wasn't his fault. My wrist is a bit sore today and I've got some interesting red marks on my chest, but thankfully the pain is gone. I am looking forward to some ham leftovers, as I will be making tomato salad with it for lunch today and then chicken and ham casserole for dinner tonight. Mmmmm, I love ham.

Ok, maybe I don't love ham as much as these guys...

So how was your start to 2012??


  1. I hate burns like that. I hope you're feeling better. The Scribe burned herself cooking eggs yesterday. I told her it meant she's going to have an amazing year since she just got one bad thing out of the way that would have happened anyway. She seemed to buy my logic lol

  2. I knew people with boobs weren't meant to cook. thanks for proving my logic.

  3. Eeeeek! Sounds so painful!!! And, your chicken/ham casserole sounds YUMMMMMM!

  4. Elisa, Scribe and I will hold you to our 2012 fate ;)

    Carol, LOL! Yes, don't cook if you value your nipples! hahaha

    Minxy, it was pretty owwie! I'm looking forward to dinner especially since I've made it before and it was good but adding ham I think will make it even better! (plus it's just basically dumping everything in a dish and throwing it in the oven so how fab is that!?!)

  5. I love that old ad of the girl looking at the food.

  6. I've never heard of boiling a ham in Coke--if you're watching calories, do you use Diet Coke? Can you use any other kind of soft drink, like 7-UP? These are serious but, I guess, moot questions since I'm not going to cook one, anyway. Ham does sound good, though. I think I'll put a pre-cooked one on the list so the next time my husband (yes, my HUSBAND) goes to the market he'll buy us one.

  7. I'm a total, utter klutz but I can honestly say that's one thing I've yet to do. Burn my boob. Just one (or two) more reasons for me to stay out of the kitchen.
    I hope 2012 improves for you quickly.

  8. Ouch! I did my finger slicing on Christmas morning. New Year's was thankfully uneventful in the accident department. Quiet, serene, gentle music...ahhh! Your ham does sound good, though. Even if I don't eat meat anymore...I remember. ;)

  9. The picture of the smiling ham made me gag.

  10. I love me some ham.... but I never heard about boiling it in coke? Huh? I wonder if the Europeans use Fanta?

  11. Dr. Zibbs, firstly, Welcome to my Cell! I hope you find it cosy (as you should because it's padded after all!). I couldn't believe how perfect and hilarious that ad of the girl was so I had to take it for my post today! Glad you liked it too!

    Fishducky, I have heard that you should never use Diet Coke but then I did read a review from a diabetic who tried it and said it was fine. I don't think 7up would give the flavor you want so just stick with Coke. Branden does most of the little shopping errands and I usually only go when it's a big grocery run...since we don't have a car, I get to play the part of pack mule...

    Vixen, I don't recommend it...burned boobs maybe something for the S&M woman may be into but for the rest of us sane people, burning breasts are not fun!

    Rita, thanks for stopping in and welcome to my Cell! I think I'd take my burned boob to your sliced finger...I really freak out over cuts! Ham in Coke is surprisingly the most amazing ham ever. Your memory would be blown away ;)

    Miss Sassy Pants, it is pretty horrific and has no reason to smile at all. I certainly wouldn't be smiling if I found that in a sandwich!

    Steve, Eeeeewwwww, no Fanta!!! I can't imagine how that would taste! I have heard that Ham in Coke is a southern US thing but there is a popular chef in the UK that made it known over here. I still haven't found anyone else who has heard of it but oh well, I know the secret to killer ham!

  12. That's what I keep trying to tell everyone, "Cooking is dangerous, that's why I avoid it when at all possible...not cause I can'"
    Hope you're feeling better. We, too, have a giant ham in the fridge I have to figure out what to do with. Time to call my mom...

  13. If I wasn't a vegetarian before, I am now after seeing that first pic. Barf.

  14. Yowsa! Hope you're feeling better...but the ham does sound very yummy....I know, I'm a bad Jew...I love pork products!

  15. Did Branden do the good thing and offer to apply the medication to the burn for you? I mean, it's the good husbandly thing to do.

  16. Paige, cooking is dangerous! But sadly it's also cheaper so my health will suffer...

    Joshua, isn't that the nastiest thing ever!?! I'm sure it's a staple in trailer parks in the US though. ;)

    Stephanie, hahaha! I almost posted a photo of a ham in a store that advertised "Great for Chanukah!". I totally cracked up! I would be a bad Jew because pork is too fabulous!

    Scope, LOL! Actually he did come into the bathroom where I was taking off my boiling clothes and wiped my chest with a dry, scratchy paper towel! That did NOT help! He was forbidden to assist after that.

  17. MMMMM....Ham. But, cooking it in Coke? Why Coke? What does that do for the ham??? This is such a great idea.

    The video was great, but I have just one question: why do those guys grab their 'junk'? Are they all jiggly or something?


Does this straitjacket make my butt look big?