I have come up with a list of sayings that I've heard over the years that are either stupid, don't make sense, or both. Unfortunately I have used some of these.
Beauty is only skin deep.
(Well duh! Not many people have a beautiful spleen!)
Smart as a whip.
(How many smart whips do you know?)
A watched pot never boils.
(We are giving this pot way too much credit to 'know' when we're not looking)
Going to clean their clock!
(There is nothing more threatening than a good clock cleaning!)
Not over until the fat lady sings.
(Is there a magic fat fairy that's supposed to appear and end things?)
He who laughs last, laughs best.
(No he's just the slowest!)
Cat got your tongue?
(Eww, I hope not!)
Fit as a fiddle.
(Because you know how much fiddles work out)
People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
(They should also get dressed in their basement!)
Barking dogs seldom bite.
(Tell the dog that!)
Cute as a bug's ear.
(Bugs have ears?)
For Pete's sake!
(Who the heck is Pete and why do we care about his sake?)
Well I'll be dog gone.
Knock on wood.
(The only thing it will get you is bloody knuckles!)
A bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush.
(Baffled at what this could possibly mean)
For crying out loud!
(I have never heard this said while anyone was crying out loud)
Between a rock and a hard place.
(Isn't a rock a hard place?)
Who spilled the beans?
(Would be easier to say "who told?")
Happy as a clam.
(Because I'm sure they are very emotional creatures)
You're pulling my leg!
(I don't usually touch people's legs let alone pull them)
Deader than a door nail.
(First off, you can't be deader than anything! And secondly, what's a door nail?)
There's no such word as can't.
(Umm, you just said it)
There is more than one way to skin a cat.
(I'm sure there is a culinary class in China that teaches the many methods)
You can't have your cake and eat it too.
(Then what's the point of having cake! To look at?!)
AND: One of my favorites that I actually use often
The world is your oyster!
(still don't know what it means!)