Thursday, September 22, 2011

The Other Side of My Gene Pool...

So far, I have shared stories about my Granny but I also have my Grandma and Grandpa (dad's parents). They are a riot, have been married for over 60 years, bicker like seagulls, and are some of the most loving people that I am privileged to have in my bloodlines. I am the baby of the grandkids on both sides of my family, but on dad's side us cousins are much more spread out in age. My oldest cousin (married in) went to high school and was good friends with my mom-in-law, so my sis and I were spoiled as the babies of the grandkids by our grandparents.

My family would spend the night at Grandma and Grandpa's house every Christmas Eve for over 20 years solid. Even when my parents moved 2 doors down from their house, I still walked over on Christmas Eve and spend the night when I was 22. When we were very young, Grandma used to have so much fun making my sis and me a big bubble bath in her Jacuzzi tub and then turning us into albinos by coating us in her fancy Red Door body powder. She loved taking us 'browsing' (which meant we were going to come back with lots of new clothes) and making us her famous beef stew for dinner. 

Grandpa was the prankster. He liked to put us in the bucket of his backhoe, lift us up really high and then start to tip the bucket as if he was going to dump us. We'd scream like crazy (even though we knew we were safe) and he'd put us down. He even used to put me on his lap, show me how to control the digger, and let me dig up tree stumps and rocks. One of his favorite 'toys' is his fart machine that he hides in his couch and operates via remote control. If you even bring it up to him, he will laugh himself to tears just talking about the people he's used it on. It's so bad, he has to go into another room to use it on people because he laughs just thinking about pushing the buttons. 

I ran across this old memory from my original blog. It's a great story that I almost forgot about! You will need a bit of background info first:

My sis is Katie and her husband is Jared. They lived in California at this time and my Grandparents live in Washington. My parents live just 2 doors down from Grandma and Grandpa (as I mentioned above) and my dad's name is Rob. My grandparents have never got used to cell phones and were always calling the wrong people or accidentally calling when they didn't want to, so I would get long voicemails of them just chatting away, unaware that they had called someone. Grandma is Nell, and heaven forbid she calls you "Dear" as it's never said in a good way but is her start to scolding you (I have only been called "Dear" once, when after a year of hiding it, my Grandma finally discovered that I had my tongue pierced). Oh and one more thing, my dad will rarely have 1 glass of something alcoholic (usually Lambrusco...*barf*) as he is not a drinker and mostly hates the taste of alcohol.

So, onto the story! My sis got a call from my Grandpa one day:
Katie: "Hello"
Grandpa: "Let me speak to your husband"
K: *hands the phone to Jared and tells him grandpa wants to talk to him*
Jared: *puzzled* Hello?
G: I flipped my lawn mower and need you to come over.
J: *thinking he's teasing* Um, ok, but it's gonna take me a while.
G: Well just be here in about 15 minutes or so, that's fine.
J: It's gonna take me longer than 15 minutes and I'm on my way to class.
G: Class? What are you taking classes for?
J: I've been taking classes for a while.
G: This doesn't sound like Rob. Are you drunk? Here, I'm gonna hand the phone to Nell, I can't understand you.
Nell: Hello?
J: Hi, it's Jared.
N: Jared? What are you doing at Rob's house?
J: I'm not.
N: Is Rob with you then?
J: No, I'm in San Diego on my way to class.
N: *yelling at grandpa* Dear! you called Katie, it's Jared. It's not Rob...

Even all these years later, I think Grandpa is still confused!


  1. First off, that cat is hysterical.

    And second, I think your grandfather and mine might be related specifically because of the fart machine. The real way to determine if they are related is this: How is he at playing SPOONS?

  2. My grandpa's dad ran off when grandpa was young so maybe he sowed his oats in the form of your grandfather! ;)
    Oh SPOONS! What a fabulous game! I have actually never played it with my grandparents but my dad is a nasty player, always bluffing his grabs or sneaking his spoon. Branden though has pulled my mom across the table and ripped a table cloth...we are violent players!

  3. Yeah...we might be related.

  4. Oh,my! It is as though you and I have the same grandparents! I, too, have enjoyed jekuzi tubs with a healthy powdering, going browsing (which is where I first recall learning to manipulate... "Oh, I LIKE this doll"), backhoe dumps and the flock of seagulls! But the phone call story is the cherry on top! :) Love them grandparents!

  5. Hehehe Amy, you probably still get funny phone calls from them! They are pretty amazing grandparents!

  6. Funniest phone call ever! I LOVE that :)

  7. I don't know about that Elisa...your prank call gone wrong was priceless!!!

  8. I'm here from Josh's Vive Le Nerd, and I COULD NOT not come visit your blog and become a follower when I saw your blogger user name. AWESOME.

    Anyway, I'm now your newest follower, so: nice ta meet ya!

  9. Matthew, Welcome to my Cell! I'm glad you like my user name...your blog name ROCKS by the way! I love new followers so I'll go tuck-in to your blog ;) Nice to meet you as well!

  10. Hahahahaha...oh Grandpas...where would we be without them? That picture is flippin' hysterical btw..

  11. I love grandparents, ALL grandparents...they make the world safe and interesting...and pretty darn hysterical!

  12. When I went to Montana for college in the mountains Grandpa very thoughtfully gave me a keychain pepper spray to keep myself safe. It was only slightly larger than a key. Well, the first week of school was backpacking in the mountains and they sent pepper spray with each group to keep us safe if we should happen to run across a grizzly...pepper spray the size of the largest can of Aqua Net hair spray...and told us it would only slow the bear down slightly! Hehe, I so laughed at my little keychain pepper spray! Which, by the way, was later confiscated at the Canadian border as a weapon!


Does this straitjacket make my butt look big?