How Star Wars Restored My Confidence

When Branden and I first started dating, I became very self conscious. He was only just 21 at the time (I was 24), was already getting ready to graduate with a Bachelor's degree, was set to start his Master's program in the Autumn, and knew he would go on to achieve his PhD and become a University Professor in Ireland as the finale to his massive intellectual conquest. I on the other hand, had my small town high school diploma, petitioned against the school in my junior year as they were going to enforce all seniors to take all 6 classes despite the fact that some of them (like myself) didn't need to, won my petition, took 3 classes my first semester and only 2 my second semester, was granted a scholarship and never used it, and had no plans whatsoever on going to college and having a career. My biggest goal was just to eventually get married, be a support for my husband, and be a stay at home mom for my kids. I'm do apologize to all those who burned their bras for seemingly ingrates like me, but that was all I wanted, and I knew and felt how much I was looked down on for this.

With Branden having all of his academic goals and being around all the smart college girls, I was a bit afraid that he would eventually come to the realization that I was definitely not anywhere near his 'standard' of woman. But then he did something that gave me hope...

We were chatting on Facebook (while I was at work), and when I had to go we set to talk on the phone that night. He told me that he couldn't call me until late, probably about 10ish, because he made plans with his roommate to play Star Wars (He was/is a hot academic so I let some nerdy things slide!). Later that night when he called me, I asked him how his night went. Now in my mind, playing Star Wars meant they were playing a video game, but somehow it came up and I discovered that my nerdy academic was a bit more like me than I had realized. Yes, he had played a Star Wars video game with his roommate, but then afterwards they ran around their apartment shooting each other with their imaginary Star Wars blaster guns, complete with *beeow* *beeow* noises. Apparently they even did this randomly around campus.

What a relief! I felt more secure about the fort Chrissy and I built under my dining room table just months earlier and how I found more joy in stupid and silly things than in the discovery of a new planet! I still had some nervousness about our differences, but when I finally talked to Branden about it I was put completely at ease. He actually wanted a wife who would want to be a stay at home mom and wasn't caught up in a career so that she could be flexible enough to go through the big move to another country.  He also saw how out of touch with reality some professors could be and how socially awkward they can become when they just surround themselves with people like them, so he really wanted a more down to earth wife to keep him grounded.

I really had nothing to worry about and even though my conversation with him was the most obvious of reassurances, playing Star Wars with his roommate was the best proof I could have ever had!