Friday, September 2, 2011

How Star Wars Restored My Confidence

When Branden and I first started dating, I became very self conscious. He was only just 21 at the time (I was 24), was already getting ready to graduate with a Bachelor's degree, was set to start his Master's program in the Autumn, and knew he would go on to achieve his PhD and become a University Professor in Ireland as the finale to his massive intellectual conquest. I on the other hand, had my small town high school diploma, petitioned against the school in my junior year as they were going to enforce all seniors to take all 6 classes despite the fact that some of them (like myself) didn't need to, won my petition, took 3 classes my first semester and only 2 my second semester, was granted a scholarship and never used it, and had no plans whatsoever on going to college and having a career. My biggest goal was just to eventually get married, be a support for my husband, and be a stay at home mom for my kids. I'm do apologize to all those who burned their bras for seemingly ingrates like me, but that was all I wanted, and I knew and felt how much I was looked down on for this.

With Branden having all of his academic goals and being around all the smart college girls, I was a bit afraid that he would eventually come to the realization that I was definitely not anywhere near his 'standard' of woman. But then he did something that gave me hope...

We were chatting on Facebook (while I was at work), and when I had to go we set to talk on the phone that night. He told me that he couldn't call me until late, probably about 10ish, because he made plans with his roommate to play Star Wars (He was/is a hot academic so I let some nerdy things slide!). Later that night when he called me, I asked him how his night went. Now in my mind, playing Star Wars meant they were playing a video game, but somehow it came up and I discovered that my nerdy academic was a bit more like me than I had realized. Yes, he had played a Star Wars video game with his roommate, but then afterwards they ran around their apartment shooting each other with their imaginary Star Wars blaster guns, complete with *beeow* *beeow* noises. Apparently they even did this randomly around campus.

What a relief! I felt more secure about the fort Chrissy and I built under my dining room table just months earlier and how I found more joy in stupid and silly things than in the discovery of a new planet! I still had some nervousness about our differences, but when I finally talked to Branden about it I was put completely at ease. He actually wanted a wife who would want to be a stay at home mom and wasn't caught up in a career so that she could be flexible enough to go through the big move to another country.  He also saw how out of touch with reality some professors could be and how socially awkward they can become when they just surround themselves with people like them, so he really wanted a more down to earth wife to keep him grounded.

I really had nothing to worry about and even though my conversation with him was the most obvious of reassurances, playing Star Wars with his roommate was the best proof I could have ever had!

18 comments:

  1. As I often say, "The Force is like duct tape: it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the world together." Clearly it keeps relationships going too ;)

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  2. This was a wonderful post! And I'd like to think those women burned their bras so that people like you and me would have a "choice" in who they wanted to be. Truth be told, I'd love to be a stay-at-home mom (especially if I could write during my free time). I'm so glad you actually talked to him about your fears...so often we forget to do that.
    I've really enjoyed getting to know you via our blogs. You have so much to contribute!

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  3. Such an awesome, heart-warming post. You two sound like an amazing couple :0)

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  4. LMAO! That is so cute :) I have always been a big believer in opposites attracting. I feel like you need a complement vs. a mirror, and it sounds like you have that!

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  5. That is an adorable story - clearly you two are soul mates!

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  6. Alicia, I love that phrase and I love that you use it often!

    Stephanie, thanks for the other look at the bra burners. I seem to only get the negative ones so I love your view! It's easy to see just from Peanut's World of Cat's video why you would love to be a stay at home mom. I showed it to Branden today and he just laughed over how sweet and adorable she was (and he said she was better at video commentating than me!). I have loved seeing you through your blogs as well.

    Elisa, thank you. We try to be amazing ;)

    Queen B, yes we most definitely are opposites but thank goodness it's the little silly things that we can share in common. It creates a lot of laughter in our house!

    Megan, thanks and welcome to my cell! Branden is truly my soul mate :)

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  7. I'm like you. I never wanted to sit in a cubicle all day. Some people love it..and I did it for a long time...but others just want to stay at home and be attacked by their all day long. *raises hand* Also, Husband's a total dork, too. I like to comfort myself and say all the good ones are dorks..;) Great post!

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  8. That's so cool that you showed Branden Peanut's blog video. I love watching her grow and hate every minute that I miss.
    Have a great weekend!

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  9. Paige, I'm so glad to find that there are more people out there like me (then I can have a good defense when they come to put me in the looney bin!). I hated office work but sadly that seems to be the jobs that everyone wanted to hire me for. I think I found your blog from Elisa's blog but I can't remember. I'm just so glad I found it! You are great!! Thanks for the follow and for stoppin by!

    Stephanie, how could I not show him Peanut's video!?! It was hysterical and adorable! Plus I had to show him how impressive she was and as Branden put it "she has amazing presentation skills!". You have every right to be a proud mama! I hope you have a great weekend too :)

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  10. You sound so much like me. I remember telling my mom when I was in the 10th grade that it didn't matter what my grade was in geography because I was going to get married and have kids, and why did I need an A in geography when I wasn't planning on using it...I also apologize to all those who burned their bras. I would also burn my bra to show solidarity, except I don't need to wear one because my tatas are the size of grapenuts.

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  11. This is so cute! I love "and that's how we fell in love" stories. =)

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  12. Sandra, hahaha, I would burn my bra except I don't even think the feminist would want to see that image! I was actually an honors student in high school so my parents were really hoping I'd do something with my brain...I think maybe they just cry over my blog now...

    Miss Sassy Pants, thanks! It's so good to see you online again! Even if you can't be on as often, it's still nice to know you haven't died of alcohol poisoning ;)

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  13. Sounds like a match made in Heaven to me young one. You and Branden were made for each other.

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  14. I have never played that game PCP, but my children where just old enough to take to the Star Wars movies when they first came out, and we went to them all, and we all enjoyed them. I still do a bit.... - Dave

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  15. Does this mean you are Princess Leah to his Yoda??

    May the force be with you guys.

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  16. Boomer, my first boss told me that you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you can find a prince. I'm just glad I only had 2 frogs (lizards more like) before I found him!

    Dave, I wish I could have seen the originals when they first came out...but my parents weren't even married yet! On a side note, we had bangers and mash with your tomato topping tonight for dinner. Since you told us, we've had them like that every time and I can't imagine eating them any other way! Thanks for that!

    Ryan...hahaha! The only big buns are on my hind quarters and he wants to be Obi-wan Kenobi (and yes, I just had to ask him how to spell that!)

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  17. The pew pew noises were better than the wwwhhhoooo noises of lightsabres.

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  18. Just left you an Award on my Blog! :)

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Does this straitjacket make my butt look big?