Thursday, September 1, 2011

Surveillance Camera Humiliation

When I was a kid (a younger kid than I am currently) my sister and I went to Costco with my mom. On our way out my sister was pushing the cart to the car, (running I might add) while I was standing on the front enjoying the ride and mom was following behind us. In the cart was a box with 2 gallons of milk in it, a large jug of juice, and some other random groceries. I decided I wanted off and put my food down. I DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS! It jammed under the front of the cart causing the whole thing to nose dive on top of me. Because it happened so quickly, my sister didn't have time to let go and was dangling at the top, feet kicking. Of course the groceries all fell on top of me, and my ever so helpful mother was unable to stand from laughter, so she sat in the parking lot trying not to pee her pants. Luckily I was fine, my sis got back on solid ground and mom somehow managed to not wet herself. We laughed over how great it would be to get ahold of the surveillance camera footage for that parking lot!

Little did I know this concept of being a surveillance camera freak show would haunt me later in life.

Back when I still had a license, drove and owned a car, I went to the movies with some friends. At the time I only had a two seater car, so my friend had to drive us in her old Oldsmobile. I didn't have any cash on me so I made her drive me through the ATM on our way there. I was sitting in the back seat behind the driver so she just pulled forward a bit extra so I could use my window. It was an older Oldsmobile and the back windows had that "child safety" feature where the windows only roll down half way. The ATM was kind of high so I had to actually stick out of the window to reach it. As I was waist up out of the window and looking quite silly, one of my friends said that the surveillance video was going to be interesting! We had a laugh, I got my cash and proceeded back through the window...except I got stuck! Now I am a 'well endowed' woman, so when it came to my 'chesticular' area going back through the window, my boobs just laughed at me! I don't know how I got them so easily out the window but there was no way they were going back in! The entire car and myself were all cracking up but I was starting to panic thinking that if we had to call the fire department they might have to cut my girls off! I tried moving sideways, flattening myself, backwards, and it was starting to get painful. We came to the conclusion that these weren't very good 'safety' windows! Finally after about 5 minutes of struggling like a fat retriever stuck in a doggie door I popped back through the window. Once some of the laughter and my whimpering died down, there was much discussion about how the surveillance video was probably going to be the highlight of the bank Christmas party!

*The inspiration for sharing these stories today came from another one of my husband and my conversations last night while laying in bed. I was wondering out loud what to blog about today and he started laughing as he said, "How about the time you got stuck in the window at the ATM?". I didn't actually know Branden when this situation happened but apparently the notorious tale 'stuck' with him   ;)


  1. Classic! I'm sure there are some surveillance photos of myself and my friends cracking people up somewhere. Guaranteed.

  2. "Now I am a 'well endowed' woman, so when it came to my 'chesticular' area going back through the window, my boobs just laughed at me!"
    That line cracked me up...the whole story did.
    You are too funny.
    Have a wonderful day!

  3. Joshua, that sounds intriguing...maybe you should share on your blog!

    Stephanie, my boobs and I have a special love/hate relationship so writing about them is usually like writing about lovable but obnoxious, large aunties! I'm glad you like it! I hope your day is fabulous as well and I'll probably be seeing you at your blog later ;)

  4. I am laughing soooooooo hard right now. Melynda got stuck in her car window today!!! She was hooking and honking the horn for help. I didn't make it in time, but her son did LMAO!! You're physic. I really want to mail you a kitty now.

    P. S. You leave THE BEST comments ever. You're one of the most hilarious people I know :0)

  5. Oh my goodness she did not! That's too random and hilarious! It's almost creepy how many things I've found we have in common already!
    I would love if you could send a kitty but I don't know how well the trip would be for it...holes in the box might not be enough. You are too kind and I'm completely flattered because I find you to be one of the most hilarious people I know so it means a lot to me coming from you :)

  6. Chesticular-LOL!

    I had no idea you were a member of the MM club kiddo. Welcome.

  7. Ooo that made me hurt just thinking about it. Love the look on the dogs face.

  8. Oh my hell! lol I have been trying to finish this post all day but stuff keeps interupting me. For example I had to take my prego sister to the hospital to stop her contractions. That was an all day affair. The funny part is I have my post all written for tomorrow about my window experience today. This is ironic!! Two great minds huh?

  9. heehee. I hope someone got to enjoy watching those.... I always visualize some bored security guy sitting in a dark room monitoring them, but I guess most of them never get reviewed (assuming there are no incidents). what a waste ;)

  10. ...and I'm sure at the time you never thought to yourself, "I should ask for that tape. It would make a great addition to my blog at some point"


Does this straitjacket make my butt look big?