Wednesday, October 12, 2011

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's...passed out on the floor?

It's time for another look back on my past days as a locksmith. During the day, it was just my boss and myself in the office but since we had to be available 24/7 for people getting locked out of their houses and cars (and he wasn't going to send little girly me to unlock the drunks' houses in the middle of the night) we had help from Bob, our night worker. Usually I would transfer the phones to Bob at night and let him take all the lockout calls. Bob did help out on some of our big jobs as well and he was a blast to work with. This is a story that Bob shared with me and it is one of my favorites. I blogged about it back in December 2005 and I can't believe I've held on to it this long without sharing! So here ya go!

I work with a guy (Bob) who's had all sorts of different jobs and he has some pretty good stories from them. Years ago when he was a paramedic he got called out to the strangest scene I've ever heard. Here's what happened: A guy was sitting in his apartment when he heard his neighbor's wife screaming for help. He ran over to their apartment, the door was unlocked, and he went in. Her screams were coming from the bedroom so he entered. Here he discovered the wife completely naked and handcuffed to the bed. On the floor, crumpled in a heap, was the husband dressed in a Superman costume and not moving. 

Apparently when 'Superman' came in to 'rescue' the woman, he jumped up on the bed, hit his head on the light fixture, and knocked himself unconscious! His wife thought he had somehow killed himself so she started screaming for help. How the neighbor managed to take all of this in and not die of laughter, I'll never know. I probably would have walked and said something like, "Sorry lady, but if Superman couldn't save you, I don't think I could either!"

17 comments:

  1. Oh, that is an outstanding visual. Can't believe that you've held onto it that long before sharing it!

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  2. Stephanie, I would have died if I was that wife! Luckily that's not my or Branden's cup of tea so I should never have to worry about that sort of humiliation! (although you may have if you would have stuck with NJD! LOL)

    DH, it really doesn't get much more hysterically visual than that! I know, I'm bad for sitting on this one but better late than never ;)

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  3. You are sooo hilarious! I love the last one-liner.

    You had me laughing even from the title. :)

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  4. Good story, I bet the bloke wasn't built like Superman.

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  5. Elisa, you are so flattering...I like having you around! :)

    Tony, most likely he wasn't! Ahahahaha (Nice! I hadn't thought of that!)

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  6. Awful. Just awful. And by awful I really mean hysterical.

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  7. Joshua, I can't look at a guy dressed as Superman without giggling like a 14 year old girl in my head.

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  8. Oh man that was me in the bed. I remember Bob so well. He made sweet, sweet love to me before he removed the handcuffs and revived Superman. What a thrilling night it was.

    Love,
    Lola

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  9. OMG, you are so right! If I had stayed with NJD sooner or later something like that would come up. Yikes and Yuck!

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  10. Ohmy gosh!!

    That made me laugh out loud.

    I can't wait to have the kids read it.

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  11. Hahaha Lola! We just won't tell his lovely wife Bonny who has been his sweetheart since he was 14 (seriously one of the cutest couples ever!)

    Stephanie...thanks for allowing me to use my evil laugh! Muahahahaha!!!

    Empress, thanks for stopping in! Watch out reading it to your kids...they may want to be Unconscious Superman for Halloween!

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  12. I did something similar once, except I was the Superman lying on the floor. And she wasn't in handcuffs. I was trying to impress a hot girl with my awesome flying sidekick, which I did flawlessly as I leaped through the doorway. Problem was, the doorway is significantly lower than the ceiling and I cracked my skull on the top of the door frame, knocking myself nearly unconscious and causing a fair amount of bleeding from the top of my head. I also left some hair and blood on the now-dented door frame. She was only mildly impressed.

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  13. Fail, she was only mildly impressed and you were only majorly concussed! If only you had tried to video your attempt at superhero wooing, you could have been a huge Youtube hit! (and I could have enjoyed laughing at your mishap over and over again!)

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  14. Ha. Show what goes on in some bedrooms huh? Funny - Dave

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  15. Dave, pretty scary thought and that was probably a mild incident in some bedrooms!! Yikes!

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Does this straitjacket make my butt look big?