Monday, October 3, 2011

I may not have much, but I've got it all

As most of you could probably tell from last week's posts, Branden and I enjoy a good laugh. We are always making each other crack up and are willing to be ridiculous in front of each other. You know the phrase, 'if you weren't laughing, you'd be crying'? That's probably very true for us, but we choose to laugh. Some days we do cry though. The pressure of no job prospects and fear that we can't manage this for 3 years has eaten away at the back of our minds despite making it for the past 6 months. The worst fear of all was the thought of me flying back to the States so I could work and sending the money over to Branden while he finished his PhD in Ireland. Even if he's gone for just a few hours for something, I am like a labrador who acts like he's been away for years!

I know a lot of people thought we were crazy and especially thought I was crazy. Branden and I had only known each other for a year and a half and had only been married for 2 months when I willingly and excitedly moved to Scotland with him, knowing full well that I would never be moving back to America again. I left all of my family, all of my friends, a good paying job, and just trusted in the plan that was laid out before us. I think that it was the best thing we could have ever done for our new married life.

We live halfway around the world from our families and friends so if we ever have a disagreement or frustration with each other, we can't just call them or run off to find support with them. We have had to work everything out on our own. I had never even had a roommate before we got married so having to figure out how to live harmoniously with my new husband in a foreign country, in a 400 square foot flat, and Branden having to deal with my anxiety and depression, was quite the challenge!

But we did it.

Branden's mom was chatting to us on Skype last week and said something that struck me. She said that all the stresses and crazy things we have had to go through already would tear up even 25 year marriages let alone our little 2 year old one. It really got me thinking because I knew that a lot of things we have gone through and are going through are things that have caused divorces...but I couldn't understand why. In all of what we face, the only stable thing I have on this Earth that keeps me sane is my husband. We may have nothing else in this world but we have each other and that is really all we need. I could not do this without him and he could not do this without me, so why in the world would I leave him???

Branden's mom opened my eyes to really see the miracle and blessing that we experience by drawing closer together through all of these storms instead of letting them rip us apart. Sure there have been many, many days where both of us have wished and prayed for life to be easier but when we see just how much love we have for each other and know that somehow we will manage to love each other even more tomorrow. We find peace in our storms and bless them for giving us a great foundation so we can make it until death do us part.


  1. This post had me chills--it is sooo powerful :)

    Oh and the R.M.O video had me rolling LOL!

  2. Elisa, paybacks for all the post you have written that have left me with goosebumps. :) Oh and I thought you would like the video...I have watched it over and over again just to hear that old, scratchy voice say, "tastes like balls!" Priceless!

  3. Right there with you, lady. The Wife and I were long distance for quite a long time when we were dating, and it forced us to have conversations about things otherwise we would have "$2 silences" where no one would talk and which neither of us could afford. Much better foundation than most. Sounds like you two are all right.

  4. How wonderful to hear that you are weathering it all "together". What a fantastic post! You two are on your way to 50+ years of happiness.

  5. Joshua, yeah, being apart really, really sucks but talk about a major bonus for communication skills! We hardly shut up! It's great to hear that you and your wife are the same is such a wonderful image of married life for your kids!

    Stephanie, I had 2 relationships previous to Branden that were over 2 years long...both very unhealthy and damaging. To have such a contrast is something I cannot be grateful enough for and I thank God every day for such a wonderful husband and marriage! And since I'm a hopeless romantic, I do believe that this can happen to everyone as long as people are patient and never settle!!

  6. Beautiful stuff. I have sometimes thought how devastated I would be if anything happened to my wife. I don't understand people who love their spouses but still cheat on them, then when they have been found out say that they love them and are sorry for what they have done. they know it is wrong but do it anyway. Be happy with what you have, good luck to you both.

  7. Firstly I must tell you that I absolutely love your blog, its title and your philosophy towards life. Secondly, this was a wonderful post. You have been very brave to take chances and be together. if it helps - I had only known Hubby a few weeks before I proposed to him and we celebrated (!) our 23rd wedding anniversary at the beginning of the year - the reason we are still together?We laugh a lot - and usually at the same things! i am your newest follower and will come and visit like a faithful labrador ;)
    Good luck with it all. Keep smiling.

  8. Tony, your wife is very blessed to have you by the sounds of it ;) I don't get cheaters either who say that they 'love' their spouse despite giving themselves to someone else. It's tragic and my heart breaks for the poor cheated on spouse! I can't imagine putting the person I love the most through that sort of pain!

    Carol, welcome and thanks for the follow! You are so kind and I'm so glad I found your blog a couple of weeks ago (although, truth be told, I would have been happier to find it sooner!). How sweet that you proposed to your husband! My husband and I basically knew we would be getting married within a few weeks because it's true what they say, "when you know, you just know!". Congrats on 23 years!!! You may have to celebrate your 24th with a nice trip to Malta or something ;) hehehehe (I'm completely cracking up in my head just thinking about your poor husband's trip experiences!)

  9. It sounds to me like you're doing just fine kiddo. Laughter and tears are both part of a sound marriage and anyone who's really honest will tell you just that.

    The laughter is for the good times and the tears keep you from killing each each in the bad.

    Thank God for Skype.

  10. Boomer, at first I read it as "keep you from killing each other in bed"! lol...thank goodness for a king sized bed! ;) Thanks for your words and yes, thank God for Skype! Just got done seeing my beautiful nephew's faces.

  11. Great post! It's very true, moving overseas was probably one of the greatest things you could've done. Like you said, you only have each other to lean's just waaay more obvious when you're away from your family and friends. I don't really know what I'd do without Husband. Not only is he my best friend in the whole world and a fantastic father, but every comedian needs a "straight man"....where would I be without him?...LOL

  12. Sometimes after many years of marriage, you don't pull together in the hard times, but instead expect your spouse to blame you or take out their frustrations on you, and that pushes you apart. Its good that you two don't do that.

  13. good for you guys. like ^ says, this is not always the case

  14. Well done. True love lasts through tough times - Dave

  15. Paige, it's good to hear that you married your best friend too (I think that is vital!)

    Epic Fail, we still have a lot of years to go and a lot more variables (like kids) that will come along which do cause rifts. I'm just glad to see that so far we have managed to handle challenges in a healthy way for our relationship. I didn't have that in past relationships.

    j. littlejohn, welcome to my cell! We do feel very blessed because we already have friends divorcing around us. Marriage isn't easy which we fully accept but we love every moment of it!

    Dave, thanks. That's the key, "true love" which doesn't come solely from ourselves :)


Does this straitjacket make my butt look big?