As if I didn't need anymore of a reminder that I am extremely relieved to not have to date, flirt or pay any attention to any man (other than Branden), I ran across this old blog post from April 2006. I don't know why I always managed to attract the nastiest of the nasty but I suppose it's what I got for living in ridiculously rural America.
And the Bile Worthy Customer Award goes to....
I get some funky old guys hitting on me but the one yesterday blew them all away. Firstly, he was completely bald on the top of his head. This typically isn't that big of a deal but he had long grey curls all along the sides and back that he decided would look fabulous in a ponytail. He needed 10 keys made and then have them put on individual key rings...no problem. I finish, he signs the tab, then hits me with it:
"Have you ever considered modeling?"
"Umm, no." I'm just waiting for the rest of a pick-up line but curious since he has a wedding ring.
"Well I photograph," hands me his card, "and it's...bla bla bla...(I'm noticing the pic on the card)...so look up the website and give me a call if you'd like."
Trying not to look weirded out, "Uh...ok, have a nice day, bye."
The card was a black and white photo of a naked woman from the back, one had against the wall, the other holding a scarf covering her back and just managing to cover her butt. You can see all the curves though. He shoots 'sensual' photography in rural settings'. ...in rural settings???
I have an image of a hay barn with banjo music and being greased up buck naked with a pig. Just for curiosity's sake I look up the website. Um, eww. No actual nudity is shown except see through lingerie and sheer tops to still allow visuals.
The thoughts going through my head went like this:
"...maybe I should be flattered...come on, there aren't many good looking people in this town so it doesn't take much to qualify...but should I feel flattered?...he's a creepy grey haired married man that wants to see your boobies...ewwie that's just gross...maybe a little flattering??...looking at your boobies...ok, sick! Not flattering! That is so gross!"
When my boss got back to the office, I told him about what happened and showed him the card. He laughed hysterically.