Friday, October 7, 2011

Locksmith Memories

As I have mentioned before, I was a locksmith for almost 6 years and it was during these years that the original Padded Cell Confessions was born. As much as I loved being a locksmith, I had a major pet peeve.

Here is the original post that I wrote back in October 2005 (can you believe that was 6 years ago!?!).

I am a locksmith. I've been one for 4 1/2 years. When a customer comes walking through my door the first thing that is directly in front of them is a counter, me behind it (smiling of course), and 14 rows of keys hanging on hooks. This is your typical locksmith shop. The #1 question I get asked is, "Do you make keys?". Duh we make keys! We're locksmiths! What do you think all these keys behind me are...contemporary art?! I am soooo baffled by this and to top it off, not only does this happen to me but it is the #1 question of ANY locksmith. It is pretty much the locksmith's #1 pet peeve too. My word of advice for you is: NEVER ASK A LOCKSMITH IF THEY MAKE KEYS!!! Or else I will put you into the category of beyond brainless and shouldn't breed!

Please readers, tell me you've never done this!


  1. There was a tiny locksmith shop where I grew up, and I used to walk in just to look at all the old keys they had hanging around. The only time I had to have a key made, I asked "Do you have a key like this?" It was an old skeleton-type key. And wouldn't you know it, they did. No attitude. Maybe it's because I didn't ask if they made keys. What the hell else are they going to make? I mean, other than locks, right?

  2. Asking "Do you have a key like this?" is a great question and after a full day of people asking "Do you make keys", I may have hugged someone who asked what you did! We had a small board of antique keys and I used to love looking through them...wish I could have kept some.

  3. So what you're saying is the KEY is in how you ask the question?
    hee hee...couldn't resist.
    It's Friday.
    I get the Peanut this weekend. Hopefully she'll have some more posts!

  4. "I would dance and be merry, life would be a ding-a-derry... if I only had a brain!!"

    Too funny!

  5. LOL! I'd just go with, "Um, I need a key" :)

  6. Stephanie, hehehe, I probably set you up too well for that! I'm so glad you get to spend the weekend with your wonderful Peanut! I'd love it if she had a chance to post...or make another video ;) Have fun you two!

    Dreamer, I should have just sent all those customers down the yellow brick road and refuse to help them until they were given their brains!

    Smiles, thank you! That's much more intelligent! ;)

  7. No, never! Honest! - Dave :-)

  8. Don't be so "keyed" up...*snort* Couldn't help myself. Still working on that door handle by the way...

  9. Nope, never said it. Never been to a locksmith. But I can imagine how annoying that is. No one goes to a cake shop and ask "Do you bake cakes?" now, do they?


    Join me in the Trick or Treat Spooktacular! Could you help make the Grand Prize an brand new Kindle Touch?

  10. I'm proud to say that I've never done that.

  11. Never done it, that's one of those " Here's your sign" moments.
    People have come into a resturant where I work during lunch hours and ask (With the place being full of customers) " Are you guys open for lunch"
    One time I would just love to reply, " No this is just a rehearsal for the dinner crowd." Morons.

  12. I keep trying to follow you and the button never shows!!!

  13. LOL! This is SOOOO hilarious! I can relate. I made clothes for A LIVING, and people still asked if I knew how to alter jeans. Seriously? :)

  14. Um, OK, that's a lot of keys. Have you ever walked up to a door that said "Push" and tried as hard as you could to pull it open? Sometimes we're all a little retarded.

  15. I swear I have never asked that question of a locksmith. And now I never will. Consider me warned. I see your comments at Elisa's and they're so amusing and this post is so good that I'm going to become your newest follower. I hope you'll follow me back.



Does this straitjacket make my butt look big?