Thursday, September 15, 2011

Granny the Axe Murderer

My Granny is an avid quilter and she's even had one of her quilt's pictured in a magazine. In her quilting room, she has a special fabric cutter that looks like a pizza cutter and it's very, very sharp!

One day, Granny managed to drop it on the top of her foot! She noticed some bleeding so she went to the bathroom to get a band aid. When she got to the bathroom she noticed that it was bleeding much worse than she thought so she went to the kitchen go get a hand towel. This meant she had to trudge to the other side of her house with her massively bloody foot. She got the towel and by then she said her slipper was soaked with blood. For some reason there were a couple more trips up and down the hallway and one of them was to get a phone to call my mom.

My aunt luckily showed up while my poor panicked mom rushed over. Mom said that when she arrived there were actual puddles of blood in the hallway and that it looked like someone had been murdered. They took Granny to the emergency room and had her fixed right up. She was fine but she had managed to hit a big blood vessel. 
While Granny, my mom, and my aunt were all at the hospital, my cousin Jennie showed up at Granny's house for a pre-arranged visit. She rang the doorbell several times but didn't get an answer. The front door had even been left cracked open in all the chaos but luckily Jennie just left and didn't try to go in. What would you think if you went through your Grandmother's open door to find no Granny and pools of blood through the hall??? Eventually Jennie did meet up with them when they got back and came up with the best solution for getting the blood out of the cream colored carpets. Peroxide! They bought tons of the big bottles and managed to get it all out! You couldn't even tell there had been any blood at all!
A few years after this incident, Granny finally decided it was time to get new carpets. I laughed and told her that she had better warn the carpet people because there's no way the peroxide could have gotten the blood out of the carpet pads and the floor is probably stained too! I could just see the carpet installers pull back the carpet to find blood stain trails and wonder how my grandpa really died! Granny thought it was pretty funny but was glad I thought of it so she could warn them ahead of time...although I would have been tempted to not say anything at all, sit back, sharpen some knives, and see what they did when they discovered the stains...


This is our wedding quilt that Granny made us (photo'd on our bed we had back in the States, decorated by Branden's mom for when we came back from our honeymoon). She makes a quilt for every grandchild when they get married. Since Branden is a Biblical/Church History scholar, she chose our quilt pattern from a quilt book "Patterns from the Bible." Our pattern is "Crown of Thorns" and we love our quilt! We made a point to bring it with us when we first moved to Scotland so it's been a bit of a 'comfort blanket' since it reminds us of home and family.

11 comments:

  1. That's messed up. Reminds me of when I was 10, and sliced open my foot on the base of a stationary bike (it was missing a cap that was covering a sharp edge) at my aunt's farm in Wisconsin. I remember sliding on my butt out of the room, down the stairs, and into the kitchen where my mom and aunt and uncle were sitting. I never called out. My mouth was hanging open, but no words would come out. I was stunned to silence. I distinctly remember laying on my back on their linoleum kitchen floor, ice pack on the back of my neck, foot elevated. There's still a scar from it, too. I do find it curious, my brother was witness to the whole thing, but couldn't speak either. In fact, he never moved.

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  2. Why would the manufacture of a quilt require a tool that can cause this much damage? Quilts should be banned.

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  3. I've used a tool like that before. They really are sharp; it's crazy. I would have loved to see the people's faces if you didn't warn them though. LOL!

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  4. Oh geez that's horrific. But that quilt? A family treasure. I think that is so cool she makes one for everybody. It's beautiful!

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  5. Holy cow! I'm glad your grandmother didn't cut her foot off! And... that quilt is absolutely lovely! She's very talented.

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  6. Pity you didn't finish the story Maggie, and tell us if the carpet people did find blood-soaked under felt? - Dave

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  7. Love the quilt. What a beautiful gift...and I'm glad she didn't cut her foot off as well!

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  8. I agree with Dave. I kind of have to know how the under-part of the carpet looked...LOL

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  9. I love this post. It was funny and sweet. I love that quilt and I'm jealous. :)I think you are going to like my post today. It's about three little piggy hoe-ers.

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  10. FYI young one- That pizza cutter thingy is called a rotary cutter and they are indeed quite sharp. However, I don't recall them being heavy enough to do that much damage when dropped onto a bare foot. How old was your GMA when it happened? Did she already have the the LOL thin skin?

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  11. Your poor granny that must have been agony for her, beautifully made quilt though.

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Does this straitjacket make my butt look big?